By btswc - 21/05/2011 07:18 - United States

Spicy
Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 115
You deserved it 9 700
Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

denvan 0

He must have one strong hand shake

128 0
WallyTheWombat 0

So I'm not too sure how this is played out. If he masturbates every day that they don't have sex... is it that they don't have sex cause he masturbated? or that he masturbated because op won't have sex with him? If 1: 1) Try to get to him first. if 2: 2) Quit complaining and sleep with your husband!

65 4

Comments

tnlander 20

there are two words that will solve your problem OP. Lap dance.

11 1
36591951 9

He'll probably just end up masturbating anyways

21 0
DjeePee 24

And that's the moment when you push your husband against the wall, grab his penis and whisper 'if we don't have sex right away, I'm going to squish your penis so ******* hard that you will be incapable to ********** for at least a month', or something like that. Now serious, OP, how did it even get this far? Is it your fault? Did you refuse sex so many times that your husband was tired of asking it? It is his fault? Did he didn't take any effort to please you? Is it the fault of you both? My guess is the last one. So OP, it's a simple solution: start to have sex again. Wear something sexy, act sexy, seduce your husband, blablabla. I'm sure there are a lot of tips on the internet, you should better read them. I hope your husband respects you enough to think about your sexlife and your pleasure, instead of acting like a selfish jerk.

49 7
ProhibitionRose 14

lol!!!! the first part is so messed up but full of win!

13 1
docscientist 9

He gives a selfish jerk every day it seems.

12 0
Lisa89 3

This is really sad to hear. The spark has gone so quickly. Well OP, looks like it's down to you to try even harder to get him harder! As long as you still both love each other I'm sure you can work this all out, just give him some suprise sex or something! Wake up before work and do it, or as soon as you both get home from work! If the love is gone, you guys really need professional help to try and get it back :(.

8 3
ProhibitionRose 14

You should make a deal with him. If he needs sex, he should tell you and if you turn him down, then he can **********. Everybody masturbates, but in my opinion, the key to a healthy marriage is a healthy sex life. Maybe try spicing things up? Toys, lotions, role playing... If your vag isn't more appealing than his hand, eek.

22 4
spazz666 18

"everybody masturbates" That's a very ignorant statement. In 2011, studies found that 95% of men reported masturbating regularly compared to only 89% of women. And that deal shouldn't HAVE to be made. If OP wants sex so badly she should just act on it. All it takes is some sexy lingerie and some mood music.

0 3
sxe_beast 11

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
6 50
teameminem 2

Where does it imply that she's ugly? Just because he's masturbating instead of having sex with her doesn't mean that she's ugly, she could have rejected him every time he asked for sex so now he doesn't even both to ask.

3 1
sxe_beast 11

My comment was facetious, nothing more. Move on.

9 8
ProhibitionRose 14

your comment was retarded. you clearly know nothing.

9 2
mercuryburst 0

He has lost interest in you. Surprise him with something kinky. Leather corset perhaps?

11 2
Alleged_Cranium 7

I bet that his hand has not gained 30 pounds since the wedding.

17 19
alaskasfml 0

what straight man chooses pleasuring himself over being pleasure by a woman? what is this world coming to? :/

10 1
cetlawizard 15

the kind whos wife always seems to have a headache, backache, too tired or some other of 2 dozen reasons why she's not able to have sex. same thing has happened to me after 6 months with my wife...been married 2 yrs. the sex is the best she ever had (for real) but she just can't handle 2-4 hrs of it every time.. so maybe I get to 1x every 3-6 months...nuff said!

2 1
SteelCladAngel 0

lol sounds like the reverse of my husband and I I'm nearly /always/ ready to go he's usually too tired/sore/sick/ whatever

1 1
TheMonica 0

Ouch. It's time to sit down and have a frank discussion. If he won't let up and start having sex with you occasionaly, it may be time to start thinking about divorce... Or at least several sessions with a therapist. That may seem harsh, but sex is an important part of marriage, and your sex life shouldn't have fizzled out so soon.

9 2
dustinkershaw 0

hahaha. haha ha ahaha I don't even know what to say to that.

2 8