Work: Today, I almost got fired for not following my boss on Twitter...

This is unfortunately not uncommon in the age of social media. Honestly, it really shouldn't be. It's kind of like your boss demanding to hang out with you and your friends outside work.

Enslaved 36

Saturday 30 April 2016 20:54

If you do, make sure you're clocked in to get paid for doing it.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I confronted my ex-employer about the money he owes me. He'd said he would pay me $3000. He asked me if I had it in writing. I said no. He said, “Well, too bad for you. No leg to stand on.” Then, in a cringey Indian accent, “Thank you, come again!” and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 96

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 689

You deserved it 3 028

The Top

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 895

You deserved it 8 796

Today, at church, while everyone was shaking hands and saying, “Peace be with you” to one another, a man took out hand sanitizer and washed his hands after he shook mine. And only mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 239

Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 1 784

Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 290

You deserved it 3 377

Today, it was sister’s birthday. I decided to give her money instead of a present, because I couldn’t come up with a gift idea. When she opened the envelope and took the $100 out, she looked at me and asked me if this was the best I could’ve done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 192

Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 998

You deserved it 1 558