Animals: Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon-glazed...

By ilovecharliesheen - 17/03/2015 07:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon-glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 609

You deserved it 14 265

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Same thing different taste

By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 715

You deserved it 18 746

You were framed

By Slippery! - 01/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 158

What ARE you doing?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 350

You deserved it 1 523

By fuckshitcockwaffle - 31/05/2013 14:59 - Australia - Bayswater

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 514

You deserved it 37 568

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 879

You deserved it 4 463

Caked out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 18:00 - Canada

Today, I meant to surprise my boyfriend by baking him a cake. When I took it out of the oven, I realized I had accidentally used salt instead of sugar. He tried to eat it anyway, and ended up spitting chunks of it out all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 721

By Anonymous - 07/07/2011 22:52 - United States

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 499

You deserved it 30 641

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 01:07 - United States - Roxboro

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill. My cat ate it before I could pick it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 347

You deserved it 2 785

Got away with it, surely?

By Cinnanyan - 02/06/2016 10:20 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 767

You deserved it 2 613

By catbum - 10/11/2016 03:54 - Canada - Regina

Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 552

You deserved it 1 467

Steve95401 49

Tuesday 17 March 2015 14:26

Did you cough up a hair ball afterward?

cmonger 27

Tuesday 17 March 2015 14:31

Even if they were burnt pecans why would you keep eating them?

Comments

Steve95401 49

Tuesday 17 March 2015 14:26

Did you cough up a hair ball afterward?

Blackhawk706 23

Tuesday 17 March 2015 14:26

Bad kitty.

Jace_Crockett 12

Tuesday 17 March 2015 14:27

Um, why is your cat treats so close to your cinnamon glazed peacans? And wouldn't you notice the smell?

UmmOkThen 31

Tuesday 17 March 2015 14:30

That's just Puuurrrrr-fect.

pugpuggy 21

Tuesday 17 March 2015 15:13

Actually... No, it isn't.

MrsPegg 45

Wednesday 18 March 2015 11:36

That's just grrrross.

WitEluded 13

Tuesday 17 March 2015 14:30

Your name alone makes this a YDI

SeanLewis 17

Tuesday 17 March 2015 14:30

How catastrophic.

cmonger 27

Tuesday 17 March 2015 14:31

Even if they were burnt pecans why would you keep eating them?

PurpleMyth 28

Tuesday 17 March 2015 15:40

He thought that only the first one was burnt

tossaway2321 5

Wednesday 18 March 2015 6:44

Why is this being downvoted? Hes right

jay_ladybug 19

Wednesday 18 March 2015 12:47

#47, OP said "so I ate a FEW more," a few is more than just 1 or 2.

thugling 9

Tuesday 17 March 2015 14:31

Are you saying purina soft cat treats are NOT cinnamon glazed pecans?!?!?

Sandsh8rk 36

Tuesday 17 March 2015 14:32

I bet you wish you could paws that moment and rewind to before you ate those treats.

kmaheynoway 25

Wednesday 18 March 2015 0:29

that joke was NOT the cat's pajamas

haileyrows 26

Tuesday 17 March 2015 14:34

That's just nuts! Couldn't you taste the catastrophe as soon as you ate the first one?

WaltzingPhanthom 23

Tuesday 17 March 2015 15:05

It literally was nuts....

ExorcistParrot 11

Tuesday 17 March 2015 16:33

The puns of damage.

cryssycakesx3 22

Wednesday 18 March 2015 4:17

it literally was not nuts...

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Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 21 832

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 965

You deserved it 931

The Top

Today, I realized that I haven’t lost weight. All my clothes have just stretched to fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 303

Today, I tried to train my cat to scratch the scratching post by giving her a treat every time she used it, but she took that as getting a treat every time she scratched something. Now, not only does she scratch all my furniture, but she also meows for a treat while doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 318

You deserved it 4 854

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 660

You deserved it 5 779

Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 656

You deserved it 13 693

Today, I paid for earrings at a craft fair. A kid came up from behind and started crying. The kid's mom said the kid saw earrings first and dropped them to grab an adult. The kid was allowed to cry hysterically until the hall went silent. I said, “You can have it.” Suddenly, the kid stops crying and the mom goes, “Oh that’s so kind, are you sure?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 284

Today, my crush came up to me at a college party and said "I like you." I tried to be cool and said sarcastically, "Thank you. I like myself too. That was a wonderful prank." He was amazed, and asked me how I knew it was a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 215

Same thing different taste

You were framed

What ARE you doing?

Caked out

Got away with it, surely?

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