if we all bailed out on having kids because of potential risks the world would be a lot less populated! you learn different ways to cope with the child not just decide against having children.

And the world being less populated would be a bad thing Emily?

not a bad thing, no. I just find it heart breaking that people like 15, can say something like this! 20-40% chance is not 100% and even if it was 100% that their child would develop/have a disability or an illness, if the parents are willing to care for the child and give the child the best life possible even with a disability or illness then we should take the risk. the only reason to terminate would be in extreme circumstances!

Emily - Who is talking about termination? Other than you, that is. First of all, it's 10%, not 20-40%. Secondly, asking a parent to take on anything where the risk is high is a huge undertaking. This is exactly why genetic counselors exist.

I can completely understand that, I obviously can't imagine the impact it would have on a parent. I just thought it was a bit harsh the way 15 said for OP to bail because of a risk. I apologize for not researching the actual stats for it. I also apologize for mentioning termination, obviously it's an option for some. I suppose it's one of those touchy subjects that I struggle to put into words!

A risk of something that really isn't that big a deal, if I may point out. My girlfriend is also schizophrenic, and she leads a very normal life for the most part... assuming she takes her meds. Avoiding having a baby with the one you love because of the possibility that your child might have some sort of condition - that's just asinine and makes me hope you never reproduce, 15.

@ 71 Not a big deal? Schizophrenia, like most diseases, has different 'levels' of intensity. Of course your girlfriend is probably a very normal and functioning girl. But some cases actually are, really, a big deal. I work with a lot of schizophrenic patients who have lost their whole lives to the disease. One, for example, was about to become a doctor when his psychosis started acting up. Another one was a historian, but is now disapproved (only translation that seemed to make sense, not sure if it is the right word) for working. You know about 10% op schizophrenic patients die of suicide? And life expectancy of a patient with schizophrenia lessens with about 12 to 15 years. I think that is something pretty serious.

I'm glad I ended up not having kids. I have a lot of health problems that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I did consider adoption before I got sick and I was considering someone a bit older with depression, ocd or the like. Mainly because I do have it myself and have also worked with many others who have it and I feel like I could help someone with it. Now for those who think it makes no sense, there are so many kids with issues who end up on the system. If I'm going to be caring for one with issues, I'd rather it be someone who was already on this earth and needing a home.

I love how people jumps to conclusion. @Emily, did I suggest that OP should bail? I merely said if he's not willing to deal with it. I work with children with disabilities, mostly autistic, and I love them as my own, regardless of how difficult they can be. I just see how some parents treat their own child and it saddens to see that. @Doc, technically 6.5% for family history, 20 - 40% with transient psychosis, depending on the situation (40% for monozygotic twins). But thanks for the correction.

@Emily, working with children for more than 6 years may not have taught me what to do, but seeing how the parents are have certainly taught what not to do. Be a little open minded, read carefully and please don't jump into conclusion.

I read a mod comment the said FMLs get chosen the same day they're submitted.

Oh yeah, under the med section of webmd are lots of coupons. Lots of psychotropic drugs are on there. Just got one for seroquel the other day.

I never liked seroquel. it made me pass out every time I took it. so I switched to trazadone.

I only use it for manias. I can't stay on it long term. Actually nothing in that class I've been able to tolerate long term.

98- Same here. I have some manic episodes with or without any medicine. They're relatively short lasting though, so its not too bad.

I'm glad to hear that :) hate knowing that there are people out there who have the worst of the worst in manias. It's heartbreaking. I've been lucky. I know the patterns before I go manic and can usually get my doc to do the med adjustment before it gets out of hand.

122- Same. My sex drive is off the charts and i get giggly.

Did your caps lock button get stuck?

I think this warrants caps lock. I rarely use it, but I didn't want my message to get lost in the plethoras of "that sucks!" or "ha ha [insert lame joke here]." He needs to get this woman medical care immediately.

I totally agree and hope like hell he takes your advice!!

@24 you have a good point, but I don't think 'disturbed' is the right word to use. Isn't that offensive? I know in the Dutch language we, as caretakers in 'training', can't use the word 'mentally handicapped' but rather use 'mentally disabled'. And about not going willingly, that chance is certainly there, but who knows, maybe she does not mind going to the hospital. My guess would be as well that she does like that, but you could just try taking her on her own free will.. I think.

* I did not mean to say that 'mentally disturbed', 'mentally handicapped' and 'mentally disabled' are the same thing. I used handicapped and disabled as examples for words I can and cannot use.

I don't know, I think he'd probably be in more danger.

Or she might harm herself, or do something else that is dangerous. I don't think it's wise to let her go unwatched when her Schizophrenia is acting up.

I know you're trying to be appreciative, but I hate the fact that what you're saying implies that most people would choose not to be with someone who has a mental illness, even though their disorder doesn't define them and is most likely just a part of who they are.. Yes OP's girlfriend has schizophrenia, but she could be beautiful and have a great personality, so OP could be just as lucky to have her as she is to have him.. Obviously when her symptoms are in check.

Well it is true that a lot of people wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone with a mental disorder, especially one as serious, chronic, and stigmatized as schizophrenia. So the OP is a great boyfriend for choosing to deal with this. He could bail at any time if he wanted, yet he's choosing to stay.

I would NOT be "intimate" with a schizophrenic GF; yes, I'm one of those guys who would bail as soon as I found out. Gone like last weeks news.....

I'm pleased to see a lot less stigmatization here than I expected. Maybe things ARE changing.

Looks like I spoke too soon.

I wm so glad that some people are more acceptive of schizophrenics. 84, that is a pretty douchy thing to say. I am schizophrenic myself and have had 4 or 5 boyfriends break up with me, either because they were afraid they would catch my schizophrenia, they didnt want to be with a "crazy bitch", or they were convinced I was possessed. I am always okay when I take my meds, but when it acts up, it gets really bad. For both of your sakes, I hope you took her to the ER.