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FML - The follow-up
Dat_Class_Tho Say more :
Hi there, this is the author. I've never commented on my own fml before, so please forgive me if I'm doing it wrong. Here are some details that might clear up some confusion I'm seeing in the comments: The HR manager of the potential employer is the one who told me that I was over qualified and that having a familial or romantic relationship with another employee was against their policy. This discussion was during my 2nd call back interview. Getting a 2nd call back had really gotten my hopes up so the bad news had a little extra salt in the wound. She was extremely nice about it though. She explained that the only real concern was the appearance of favoritism, as several of you guessed. She went so far as to recommend other companies/agencies in the area that would value my skills. I asked her if these other companies had similar "no family" policies, as I recognized every name on the list to be one of my family members' employers. She said that she was pretty sure they did have the same policy, and that maybe it would be best if I waited until I was married so that my last name would change and no longer raise a red flag. She said that as long as the question was never asked, I wouldn't have to disclose my family ties. I don't want to just sit around waiting for marriage. I enjoy contributing equally to the finances and go stir crazy with nothing to do. Also, we haven't settled on a date so I don't even know when the wedding will be, or even if we will be able to afford it if I don't find a source of income comparable to my last job. I need to find something soon and I'm still applying everywhere even if my family works there, but the odds are not in my favor. Thank you to anyone who wished me luck with my job search, I appreciate it.
By Dat_Class_Tho - / Thursday 3 March 2016 23:33 / United States - Atwater
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By  Dilwann  |  27

I find it more likely that you're not allowed to have relationships with coworkers. Knowing other people is usually a reason to get in, not to get rejected.

By  Feklfekl2222  |  32

I've never got policies like that, they're not really a thing in the UK, fair enough if you're her boss or vice versa, but otherwise what are they worried about? You having sex on the desk?

Comments
By  Dilwann  |  27

I find it more likely that you're not allowed to have relationships with coworkers. Knowing other people is usually a reason to get in, not to get rejected.

By  Feklfekl2222  |  32

I've never got policies like that, they're not really a thing in the UK, fair enough if you're her boss or vice versa, but otherwise what are they worried about? You having sex on the desk?

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What 8 said, but also undeserved promotions. Lots of companies have policies like that to prevent the boss from coercing an employee into a relationship with the offer of a promotion or promoting his wife or GF instead of someone else. It's a pretty logical policy if you think about it.

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  Feklfekl2222  |  32

Like I say, I can understand if they're going to be working directly together, but as they're in completely different buildings and departments, the fiancés company refusing to hire their spouse to be is more likely to be a source of conflict

By  TADspace  |  29

A lot of places don't like employees being in a relationship with other employees. Could cause drama. I've seen places have the same rule for family at a few places.

By  revolvearoundme  |  14

Holy hell Batman! WTF just happened here? An employer doesn't want to hire you because your fiance works there already... OK that's fairly normal... I'm following this so far... You can't get a job anywhere near by because of this. Because you know people in the town and now you have to move or commute 2 hours... The logic train has just jumped the tracks and turned into a duck.

By  sarianna  |  8

Unless you're engaged or related to the rest of the town (in which case, well, that's a whole 'nother kettle o' fish), the family/relationships concern for other jobs should frankly not be a concern. The way you're overreacting, however, tells us more about the way you behave as an employee than you might realize. I wouldn't hire someone who pitches a fit about a minor company policy in the first place. Since you seem to be new to the workforce, might I recommend reading the Ask A Manager blog to get a better idea of norms and expectations?

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  Badkarma4u  |  17

Depending on the industry and size of the town OP is in, there may only be only place in that town OP is qualified to work at their current salary level. It's not uncommon in small town America for this to happen. Since OP mentions having to drive 2 hours it sounds that also makes it sound as if OP is in a small town. OP may not be overreacting at all.

By  ThatHorse  |  15

There are 3 things at work here keeping you from that job. 1. you're female 2. you're overqualified 3. you're in a relationship with another employee It sucks that American companies will turn you down for just one of those things, but all 3 at once is a career killer.

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  kthack  |  4

Male interviewer will hire an attractive female but not an unattractive one, a female interviewer will hire another female less attractive than her but not more. Not exactly the most common thing, but it definitely does still happen. Not so much the "You're a girl so you just can't do it" anymore, the world isn't quite *that* stupid.

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