By Few_Absolutes - 12/10/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 255
You deserved it 8 819

Few_Absolutes tells us more.

Few_Absolutes 0

Wellllll ... I'm not 100% sure that someone DIDN'T see it. People are such backstabbers in my office that no one would ever say it to your face; they'd just gossip about you at the water cooler.

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Top comments

allmidnighteyes 10

"The mess was beyond repair" WTF? Was it like, dripping down your leg or something? Did the raw power of the shart rip through your underwear and through your pants?

82 3
SmilesAlotXD 0

if theres 1 important lesson to be learned in life its "never trust a fart"

55 1

Comments

Ms_Breezy_love 0

Lmao! I swear I thought the OP was a man until I saw it was a woman. "The mess was beyond repair" That sounds so serious! And now you know: don't fart in public, you might just accidentally shxt yourself if you do :D

9 2
plexico 3

Mercy, here's another customer for "Oops! I Crapped My Pants!" Too bad it was just a fake ad.

0 0
waterynuggets 0

Damn sounds like you had a shitty day

3 0
FarSide 22

At least you have the sense and good character to take action. If you had been a New Jersey woman.... well... let's just say you would not have a job... and you would not have walked away from your KMart shopping cart.

1 2
wiserman 0

here i sit all broken-hearted, tried to shit but only farted yeah i know it's a bit off but it maintains the integrity of the poem. author: unknown, place: men's room stall.

4 2
ivoteno 0

i'm really hating the puns on this post.

2 0
waterynuggets 0

Don't be a party pooper.

1 2
null_fml 11

Yeah, cut the crap, we're just trying to relieve some tension. No need to be anal - just have some fun, you know? Let it all out!

5 1
Nakedsquirrel 5

This is why there's things called restrooms. You don't fart in an office because it's ******* inconsiderate. I hope you ruined that outfit of yours.

1 17
ChronicFAIL 0

Well. That's a load of Fuckery. That might apply to rippin' farts in elevators when everyone has no choice but to suffer the stench, or in a car with windows that don't roll down, but in an office? **** that. You get the bubbly-guts, you let loose. Doesn't have to be loud and obnoxious, but don't pop a blood vessel holding it in. You seem rather shallow and pedantic and I don't very much care for your opinion. Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY! >:O

9 4
Nakedsquirrel 5

You and I have something in common- I don't care about your opinion, either. Let's get married and have kids, but the moment you fart in my presence, I'm beating the shit out of you. You're a dude, so it won't look so bad once you start crying to some judge/cop/domestic abuse hotline.

2 7
FarSide 22

You are the type who refuses to pee in the swimming pool, lake, or ocean.... right?

3 0
Nakedsquirrel 5

I don't piss in pools, but then I don't swim in public pools, either, for exactly that reason (plus they're also overchlorinated because of it.) If you're curious, I don't barf in my friends' cars, piss in their sinks, or ejaculate in their mouths (unless I have their permission!), either.

1 10
lordhelmet 0

Dude, you guys. Everyone farts. All the time. You could rip up your insides if you don't let your gas out. It would be nice of you to do it in a bathroom, but it's not necessary.

9 1
Dydy_fml 0

everyone farts! but its not everyone who ***** at work at their desk ! haha

1 4
Bibbz55 0

lmfaooooo this is nastyyy. made me laugh though

1 2
catyslimshady 0

AHAHAHAHAHA. i just started cracking up and couldn't stop for like 10 minutes....

0 2