Work: Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom....

By slashteddy - 09/09/2009 23:30 - United States

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 952

You deserved it 2 805

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Same thing different taste

By crappy_day - 09/01/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 606

You deserved it 5 781

By shyshy96679 - 20/06/2011 22:42 - United States

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 100

You deserved it 3 877

By Pisspants - 17/09/2016 04:39 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 137

You deserved it 2 830

Revealing

By doody - 30/12/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 252

You deserved it 4 278

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 502

You deserved it 4 665

By Me - 07/03/2012 18:24 - United States

Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 505

You deserved it 2 600

By caught out - 26/04/2014 23:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 706

You deserved it 7 405

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 781

You deserved it 11 857

By angie24w - 07/08/2018 23:30

Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 818

You deserved it 192

By peepants - 04/06/2019 14:00

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 314

Luckster 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 9:50

Dude, it's a bathroom. What was she expecting?

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 10 September 2009 10:16

Maybe OP's vaginal area resembles the forests of Mirkwood? Or perhaps a ruptured whoopee cushion?

Comments

Kenpachi_fml 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 10:47

the hell u take dumps????

JimmyBob_fml 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 10:50

I also thought the op was a guy..... because I've never heard a woman use the word "dump" before. You must be a fat gross chick. And if you are a woman.... why would the little girl scream? Did she think that your "dump" was a penis?

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 10 September 2009 10:53

"And if you are a woman.... why would the little girl scream?" refer to post 12.

CitizenSnipz 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 7:38

18 is a Boomer. KILL IT WITH FIRE!

BikerMike 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 11:34

******* kids anymore, they scream and you have to send the calvary

i_is_a_tr00l 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 12:23

You go to the BATHROOM? You're nasty.

GR3453m0nk3y 4

Thursday 10 September 2009 14:26

lmao i literraly lol'd congratulations

iwrotehaikus 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 13:03

im confused as to why the little girl was not with her mom, and im also confused as to why security broke in? and i too thought the OP was a man, because why else would the girl scream...?

Sonfang 19

Thursday 10 September 2009 13:44

Kids are easily surprised (sometimes) and the bathroom is a place a kid doesn't expect to see a person they don't know exposed to them. As for where was the kids mom? The child maybe was trying to be a "big girl", and told mom to stay outside. Poor OP and poor little girl, they both have been through alot. And all others the word DUMP is used in the female world too; and not just by "fat bitches", besides being a girl I've heard alot worse come out of the mouths of women.

GR3453m0nk3y 4

Thursday 10 September 2009 14:30

yeah me too my girfriend one time said exactly, "omg hurry the **** up! I need to piss!!!!!" lol and no she's not really bitchy or anything in fact she's in my account picture ANYWAYS...... i got a little off-track..... lol uhhh shit what am i responding to...??? OH!!!! so yea, girls aren't as quarrelsome as most guys think and yes, quarrelsome IS a word.

GriefBacon 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 14:45

So a little girl screams and in less the time it takes you to pull up your pants, security just BUSTS IN like the ******* A-Team? Such lies.

SimpleSimon 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 14:55

That was my initial thought... In my workplace, the bathroom doesn't have a sentry on duty ready to break down the door at a moments readiness. I guess it's possible that a guard just happened to be passing at the time, or that the bathroom is located near to the security office. Would have been a better FML if the OP was a guy.

alien_bow 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 17:35

Or maybe the OP wasn't...finished, and there was still work to be done.

plexico 3

Thursday 10 September 2009 14:52

There wouldn't have been a problem if you managed to get the dump IN the toilet! Work on your aim, lady! For most of us it's a slam dunk, but I guess like on an NBA blooper reel, sometimes it bounces off the rim and flies anywhere.