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Doritos are known to be chemically addictive when consumed in large quantities. They can also induce mental retardation and cannibalistic tendencies when the addiction is not satisfied.

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No, see, it's cool ranch that's the life changer. It is cool, after all. No cool ranch Doritos is a life or death issue. I don't know why everyone is so upset about the nacho cheese Doritos. It was na-cho cheese to begin with, therefore the cheesy goodness clearly went to the person it was meant to belong to. Just saying. Fritolay works in mysterious ways.

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