Intimacy: Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote.... - FML

By Allabouttheporn - 22/12/2016 00:05

Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 985

You deserved it 3 308

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By monty - 09/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 334

You deserved it 13 405

By Foot In Mouth - 13/07/2016 02:46 - United States - Bentonville

Today, while meeting a new client, their assistant said I looked familiar. Before my brain could stop me, I blurted out, "I do porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 282

You deserved it 6 031

By Andrew - 24/09/2010 10:22 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 259

You deserved it 4 577

Animated movies

By Penny - 18/01/2020 20:00

Today, at work, I was discussing animated movies with a male senior who's got kids. I was trying to refer to Zootopia but couldn't remember the name. I went, "Zoo, zoo... filia?" Silence. It wasn't until I got home an hour later that I realized what I said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642

You deserved it 468

By Anonymous - 29/07/2016 18:10

Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 677

You deserved it 7 340

What is the real feeling?

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 05:15

Today, my friends and I were acting out porn scenes without sex. Then, I realized that we all watch too much porn, and we are still all virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 2 448

By alison89430 - 05/12/2016 22:35 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 966

You deserved it 968

By Broly171 - 01/10/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 313

You deserved it 5 642

By Bonngoo - 17/11/2016 18:17 - United States

Today, at school, we were supposed to say something that we are thankful for. When I was about to speak, one of the girls at my table said, "It's okay, you can say PornHub." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 287

You deserved it 1 223

By THANKS4theINFO - 23/05/2010 23:15 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie at my girlfriend's house with her and her parents. There was a part where a brother and sister kissed, so I said "where'd they come from, Alabama?" Today is also the day I found out my girlfriend's parents are from Alabama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 929

You deserved it 38 710

Next

Top comments

Frabens 1

Thursday 22 December 2016 12:42

What kind of quote would **** have that could have been brought up at dinner?

Goblin182 26

Thursday 22 December 2016 13:11

What was the quote? "Ahhh ahhhh, oh **** I'm cumming?"

Comments

gnateye 7

Thursday 22 December 2016 21:11

a quote from a porno? riiiiiiiiiight

thanaboss 2

Thursday 22 December 2016 21:59

Link me for um... research

pjsr 32

Thursday 22 December 2016 23:47

Where's the YDI button?

Cali 54

Friday 23 December 2016 3:50

Fixed!

Incognico 22

Friday 23 December 2016 0:14

To quote or not to quote, thats the question

kitsuneluvuh 12

Friday 23 December 2016 0:46

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

alaina1104 11

Friday 23 December 2016 3:06

Just take solace in the fact that they didn't recognize it (hopefully)

DumpsterKidd 3

Friday 23 December 2016 3:29

Was it something like "don't blow your hose all over the floor"?

sirdannyboy1 20

Friday 23 December 2016 4:49

"I am the captain now"

gquagmire 17

Friday 23 December 2016 5:13

"Where'd the pineapple go?"

SomeRandomUser 19

Friday 23 December 2016 7:33

Okay. Now I'm curious about what you were trying to quote.

Keywords

Awkward Work Parents Relatable Job interview Facebook Love Social Media Jealousy Friends Relationship advice AITA Kids Shoes Annoying Roommate Music Names Customers Money Education Capitalism Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Allergies Dogs Embarrassing

The Top

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 560

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 89

The Top

Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my soon-to-be ex-husband's baby from the moment we agreed to have sex one last time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 697

You deserved it 9 136

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 636

You deserved it 8 774

Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 048

You deserved it 2 280

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 815

You deserved it 3 650

Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 115

You deserved it 7 986

Today, I was let go from my job for not being able to come into work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 130