Animals: Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when...

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 224

You deserved it 23 762

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Same thing different taste

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 886

You deserved it 4 039

Is gift

By catlady - 25/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 732

You deserved it 2 436

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 516

You deserved it 3 355

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 027

You deserved it 1 696

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 28 622

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 11:40 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 727

You deserved it 5 806

By Fran - 09/01/2010 08:40 - New Zealand

Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 506

You deserved it 3 371

By Noname - 30/01/2009 18:18 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 798

You deserved it 3 074

By goldenpuppy - 19/05/2016 20:54 - United States - Somerville

Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 138

You deserved it 1 068

By Anonymous - 29/08/2014 15:38 - United States - Hightstown

Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 898

You deserved it 12 530

jlowder2 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:13

just remember...the mouse is more scared of you than you are of him....actually, in this case I dont think that is correct.

eean 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 16:25

If it was a mouse..... then yike. Don't be ashamed of yelping if your holding a mouse by its tail accidentally. It could give you rabies or something.

Comments

NotSettling 3

Tuesday 12 January 2010 17:50

I hope you guys had a good laugh over that after the fact!!!! I have a 35 year-old male friend who is so scared of spiders that, if he sees one, will get up on his office chair and scream for his 20 year-old female assistant to come into his office and kill it. One time we put a fake spider in there just to see the drama unfold. Hilarious!

Soulathyia 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 18:00

Lol. Give the cat another 5 minutes the mouse won't be moving anymore! Lol

Tunia 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 18:21

I'm the lucky wife. ;P What he left out is that we have 3 cats, and they are just sat around looking at the mouse rather than doing anything about it! I agree with the person who said it's my FML and not his! Took me an hour to get back to sleep!

perdix 29

Tuesday 12 January 2010 19:22

Why no "sexy time?" You were both up and your husband was aroused, albeit not from lust for you, but out of fear of certain death with nasty, pointy teeth. Nevertheless. . .

me5 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:50

...that squeals like a girl...

ERAUPike 1

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:52

Today, I was on the couch while my wife was asleep. I'm only 26. FML

mr_miyagi 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 21:00

just tell your wife the cat made a squealing noise, not you an then man up next time

containsnosoy 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 21:20

OH NO! Your reputation of being a manly man is RUINED because you squealed at a mouse! I hope your relationship is not that shallow.

Drea_Gucci 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 21:35

i would have had the same reaction. tehe

TrollTrollTroll 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 23:35

someday i will punch every single one of you in the face because of this FML

teiso_fml 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 3:02

I'm not a person who tends to squeal at the sight of a rodent, however, considering that you thought it was a toy and bent down to pick it up with that expectation, when it suddenly started moving and, with you bent down about to pick it up would probably bite your finger if you had succeeded, it seems perfectly reasonable to me that you'd react in shock