Miscellaneous: Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her...

By pinkleopleurodon - 09/12/2011 12:23 - United States

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 106

You deserved it 2 579

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By merrymary - 07/01/2012 11:11 - United States

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 727

You deserved it 6 049

By stillsick - 02/03/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 455

You deserved it 3 245

Go vegan

By Done - 24/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 87

By steve-o - 14/02/2019 15:46 - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 901

You deserved it 4 189

By Carla - 12/11/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 796

You deserved it 431

By jitterbug - 02/01/2015 05:36 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, when my roommate asked me what was wrong, I told him that something I ate was making me feel sick. He works 10+ hours a day, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that the putrid smell of his feet was making me nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 736

You deserved it 4 733

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 554

You deserved it 17 489

By sendhelp - 03/08/2015 05:31 - United States - Provo

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 580

You deserved it 2 445

By ledon - 16/11/2011 04:15 - Canada

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 262

You deserved it 3 190

Believe her next time

By KICKxASSxNINJA - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Fresno

Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 193

SirCuDi 9

Friday 9 December 2011 18:47

Buy a gas mask

Zeronos 0

Friday 9 December 2011 19:00

Call of dooty: Fart Ops.

Comments

mdtdnb 7

Friday 9 December 2011 19:08

Go stay at a friend's house!

Savra_fml 17

Friday 9 December 2011 19:10

Operator: "Hello. This is the flatulence hotline. Can you hold please?" OP: "No I can't. This is an emergency" Operator: "OK. Don't panic. Just breathe deeply" *OPs roommate walks past* Operator: "Hello? Hello? Hell..." FYL OP

iRuleUdrool 4

Friday 9 December 2011 19:14

Dramatic

blaackandprouud 20

Saturday 10 December 2011 2:35

Ok so I was being a stalker and looked at your profile. You stated " Grammer. Spelling." now, I'm not a GRAMMAR Nazi but that's pissing me off. God lord, please change it and spell right since you love spelling. I cannot begin to say how ironic that is. GRAMMAR. No E.

tj4234 35

Sunday 11 December 2011 21:58

**Edit** I clicked reply to the wrong one >.>. My bad :L.

OfficeNinja 5

Friday 9 December 2011 19:17

Fart war! Now you know why "general Tso's chicken" is on the menu of every Chinese take out place. General Tso won the great fart wars of feudal china.

Timmeeh 17

Friday 9 December 2011 19:35

Light a candle. Seriously, it'll really help.

Enslaved 36

Friday 9 December 2011 19:44

Haha? I'm now picturing that "Dumb and Dumber" scene! *Singing* Flowers in her hair, la la la la la....

lilcrazyOo 0

Friday 9 December 2011 19:56

don't worry that'll go away...... eventually .......

csosa187 1

Friday 9 December 2011 20:04

Don't worry OP, It is normal to have intense gas after switching from an omnivorous lifestyle to a vegetarian one. The longer they stay on their new diet, the smelly gas will go away. In other words, 'you've gotta hold on, to what you got, it doesn't make a difference whether you make it or not...'

yourlifesfucked 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:31

Oh god, just no. Do NOT ruin Bon Jovi for me...

docscientist 9

Friday 9 December 2011 20:12

It would be amusing if carbon monoxide seeped through the night, making this Fml op's last will and testament.

perdix 29

Friday 9 December 2011 20:20

The good news is that there is no way you'd literally die from her toxic farts. That's also the bad news as death is an attractive alternative to inhaling rotting vegetable vapors.

TheDrifter 23

Saturday 10 December 2011 7:09

Exactly. There are more noxious emissions coming out of the tailpipe of the average hippie than the average SUV and they don't just drop dead too often.

LullzKitteh 1

Saturday 10 December 2011 17:34

actually, perdix, you're wrong about that. there is a case in recent medical literature where a man literally farted himself to death, and asphyxiated due to lack of oxygen!