318
By Anonymous / Monday 17 August 2015 08:33 / United States
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  kaylae22  |  13

If my be heard that he would be happy just for the fact my bc I use is the best my body can handle and it's still messes me up a lot so he would be happy for that but it's iffy I would be made at him too

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Honestly, a lot of women want to have kids and being told they cannot has to be devastating. Getting excited when your girlfriend is told she is unable to have kids may be your honest reaction, but don't let it show. That is the last thing they need.

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  Krypt1c  |  11

#89 was saying her boyfriend would be happy if she couldn't get pregnant because her birth control messes with her but that she would still be mad at him for enjoying it. It's not that hard to understand it if you have some common sense.

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  Rosebudx  |  32

A translation for #89 (I speak fluent Engrish): If my boyfriend heard that he would be happy, if just for the fact that the birth control I use is the best my body can handle but it still really messes with me. So, he would be happy that I don't need the birth control, but I would probably still be mad at him for being happy about the situation.

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  AtherSheep  |  15

..dude. You must have grown up around people who spoke English poorly or something. I can read various of things when poorly written. But I could not for the life of me understand a single word she wrote.

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  Rosebudx  |  32

I live in Appalachia and didn't have a grammar class after seventh grade (until I got to college...hoo boy, that first semester of Honors English was tough). Once I learned how to English properly, I was hired as a writing tutor. Believe it or not, I saw worse cases than this when helping people with their papers.

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  chinaski7628  |  32

And if it's a long term relationship, they really should discuss whether or not they want children. That's the kind of thing that can be a deal breaker for some people.

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  countryb_cth  |  36

#19 even if they weren't wanting to have kids together it's still devastating for a woman to hear that she is infertile. I feel bad for the girlfriend she is probably extremely upset.

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  marcranger  |  28

Actually, I'd be thrilled if I found out I couldn't have kids. As it is, I'm okay with the idea of not having sex again until after menopause just to make sure, but I can still see how it might be upsetting to find out that something you always thought was working properly isn't anymore.

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  ptoka  |  18

I have girl friends that developed cysts early in life that have basically stripped them of their fertility. Honestly, OP, always be there for someone you care about enough to be in a relationship with. A first thought of happiness based off her learning that, obviously, isn't the best.

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I'd get a vesectomy, but they won't let a 19 year old go through with the procedure. I've tried.

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  jttorkildson  |  18

I have pcos which is the number one cause of infertility in women. I don't want to have kids, but knowing that I probably can't is still a sore spot. I honestly cannot sympathize with op because when something like that happens you feel betrayed by your own body, and being betrayed by your boyfriend on top of that is awful.

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  I_Am_The_Cold  |  18

The original poster isfemale

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  dbt88  |  15

201- where are you seeing that? And how would that make any sense? Last I knew, a female can't get anyone else - male or female - pregnant.

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  little_one  |  20

My husband and I have debated whether or not to have kids the ten years we've been together. Being infertile would make me happy so I wouldn't have to decide. We could travel the world retire early and never truly know what we missed out on or didn't.

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  chinaski7628  |  32

244-- I totally understand that. I can't have children and I don't want children. Not being able to have children naturally is heartbreaking, especially as I get older. Even though I'm 95% sure I don't want children, when I hang out with my friends and their children, there is always a little twinge of regret and doubt. The boyfriend's reaction in this case is heartless and he deserves the silent treatment (at least). However, my point still stands. If a relationship reaches a certain point, the topic of children should be discussed. If I'm dating a man who wants children, we will eventually reach a point where either one of us will have to compromise what we want out of life or break up. It's much better to have that conversation sooner than later.

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  little_one  |  20

I was just saying from my point of view being infertile wouldn't be so bad. I also have never felt that intense desire to have children, and for those people I truly feel sorry for. The OP could of seemed happy out of relief, I doubt he meant to be insensitive.

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  Arwen_Evenstar  |  37

Some people are sure early, and I'll state up front people who always go "you'll change your mind" are dicks, plenty of people don't. BUT there's a reason doctors won't usually sterilise people until they're at least in their 30s - because some do change their minds. Learning you're infertile can be unpleasant even if you're 100% because the option to change your mind easily is gone. #194 - PCOS isn't a guarantee you can't, an awful lot still have kids with it with no assistance. So be aware! :)

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  coried91  |  28

Or 60 or 70 years... Okay, that's a bit severe lol. Seriously though, I would have flipped my shit if I were her. Even if you don't want kids it sucks hearing you're infertile because if you change your mind you're still screwed.

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It's like doing community service

By  Goream  |  8

I was told i would never be able to be pregnant either but now i have twins. So if you're ever able to have sex with her again i suggest you still use some sort of protection.

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  ShyVi  |  18

I love twins, but some turn 14 (or even younger) and become sets of assholes, especially if they're identical. Well congratulations, make sure you don't want to strangle them in the next 10 years.

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  HerMischief  |  21

"You're so selfish I know you don't want kids but I do and that's all that matters screw your opinion."

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It's more about finding out that as a woman, your body can't function the way nature intended. She might not be thinking about getting pregnant anytime soon, but now that the option isn't there, she may feel like she failed as a woman. To have your partner act all excited about it would be heartbreaking.

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  Aimeejasmine  |  15

#246 don't even try to turn it around as if OP is being mistreated. It's not like his girlfriend is forcing him to impregnate her jfc he literally jumped for joy at the announcement that she can never become a biological mother, he is a vile man. Who'd even want to have children with that man smh

By  RebeccaRFT  |  18

Tbh why are you even with your girlfriend if you don't want kids? You're wasting her time. Leave and find someone else so she can find someone better and someone she can have kids with. At least she can still adopt. But she can never adopt with you in the picture.

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  9a_1z  |  12

Not everyone gets into relationships with the expectation of staying together forever and having children, especially if they're young. People do tend to expect the person they're in a relationship with to have a modicum of compassion for them though, that's the problem here.

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  I_Bite  |  22

Not everyone wants kids. She may not either but even without wanting them it can be a hard for someone to hear they're infertile. It's nice to have a choice even if you don't plan to use it

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  ThatOneChick856  |  35

#41- But the reality is that when you're dating someone, it'll end with a break-up or life-partnership (whether it's marriage or something else). If they're dating with the expectation of life-partnership (which is what most people expect/hope will happen when they're in a serious relationship), why are they still together if they want completely separate lifestyles? It just won't work out if one wants kids but the other doesn't. Someone will end up unhappy. And if it's a casual fling/dating thing because they're just having fun in college or something, why does her infertility make a difference to him? He's not going to stay with her long enough for kids to matter, and it doesn't change the fact that they should still use condoms for safety. So they either need to seriously reconsider their relationship or he needs to stop being such a dick just because he wants pussy. Actually... he needs to stop being a dick either way.

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  Ichiya  |  29

Some people want kids but not as early as others or start out not wanting them but change their mind over time. Besides the fml never stated that he was genuinely happy or if he was that he wasn't trying to hide it. Maybe the girlfriend, in her grief, imagined this since she knew of the op's views on parenthood. Im not defending anyone just putting it out there that jumping to conclusions based on your personal experiences is not always the best.

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