Poopoo peepee and Love: Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered... - FML

By Crashburn - 16/01/2012 11:09 - United Kingdom

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 863

You deserved it 15 389

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Let it all out

By pottypattypeepants - 31/12/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 672

You deserved it 19 636

By Rella - 15/12/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 022

You deserved it 1 288

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 143

You deserved it 6 014

By anti-peecleaner - 22/11/2010 22:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 422

You deserved it 5 216

Marking territory

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 734

You deserved it 322

By marsbar - 15/03/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 725

You deserved it 20 093

By gassy - 12/02/2013 14:18 - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 147

You deserved it 35 658

By Angry - 04/08/2009 20:21 - United States

Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 893

You deserved it 7 180

Dirty sex

By Anonymous - 20/11/2022 06:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I was in my girlfriend's room when she walked in after getting out of the shower, wearing just a towel. She removed it and I was inches away from going down on her when I noticed she hadn’t wiped properly, either before or after her shower. She'd complained about stomach problems earlier, but regardless… FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 126

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 285

You deserved it 7 523

Next

Top comments

bene201 0

Monday 16 January 2012 16:11

Shit happens

rckstrtmmy 4

Monday 16 January 2012 16:12

YDI for dating a dirty bastard.

Comments

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Monday 16 January 2012 16:18

Someone has mudbutt!

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 16 January 2012 16:19

gak!!! Have him wrestle with grandma next time... At least until he learns to wipe.

WCARlover 34

Monday 16 January 2012 16:20

Uh...that is a terrible solution

ILEIKGURLS 0

Monday 16 January 2012 20:33

Oh yeah, because he wasn't joking or anything retard. There's this cool new thing someone invented called "humor". You should check it out!

borkchop1992 15

Monday 16 January 2012 16:19

woah how does that happen

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Monday 16 January 2012 16:23

Dude doesn't wipe his ass.

miserypoison 13

Monday 16 January 2012 16:20

Chili dog anyone?

laden_swallow09 34

Monday 16 January 2012 17:06

I thought it was a Cleveland Steamer?

aperalta1994 0

Monday 16 January 2012 16:21

I clean end is a happy end :)

Pelreskovich 11

Monday 16 January 2012 16:22

Yum, y'all should start buying Charmin!

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Monday 16 January 2012 16:25

And maybe actually use it :p

Enslaved 36

Monday 16 January 2012 16:34

I hate the "Charmin" brand. Take a closer look, it leaves little TP fuzz balls behind. :P

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Monday 16 January 2012 16:44

Baby wipes are the way to go lol.

Awsumuzzie 12

Monday 16 January 2012 17:10

Omg, no way 44, they're the best thing that came to contact with my bum!

Stupend0us 7

Monday 16 January 2012 18:34

TP alone is inadequate. Invest in wet wipes or a bidet. I have bidets on my home toilets. Can't stand pooping anywhere without having access to a bidet. Wiping with TP alone is gross.

DrMime 10

Monday 16 January 2012 19:03

Charmin brand anal condoms?

Megemegan68 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 0:30

Hahaha an entire conversation was started because of this comment^

Llamacod 11

Monday 16 January 2012 16:22

Maybe you can teach him how to wipe his ass

Buttsexpirate 9

Monday 16 January 2012 16:24

That's nasty.

rhysfucker 24

Tuesday 17 January 2012 3:42

Really? I thought you, of all people, would be "down with the brown"...

Clamcreepy 7

Monday 16 January 2012 16:24

I really hope your did the Aaron Rodgers "discount double check" after he owned you. But yeah your boyfriend is pretty nasty for that. FYL

fistnazal 10

Monday 16 January 2012 16:25

Doo doo chaser. Smh

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Awkward Parents Relatable Work Job interview Love Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice Friends AITA Kids Annoying Roommate Shoes Music Names Customers Education Money Capitalism Weird Gamers Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Dogs Allergies Embarrassing

The Top

Today, my boss agreed to a 20% pay rise, in exchange for adding a list of new responsibilities to my job description that will effectively double my workload, which he expects to be carried out in the same 8 hour workday, and not on overtime either. My boss is my dad and I hate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 138

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, a friend texted me to get a ticket and go to a theme park with her tomorrow. I bought a ticket and didn't hear from her until 5 hours later to say she was sorry, but she doesn't think she'll be going. It was $65 and non refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 865

You deserved it 309

Today, I placed $20 in a slot machine at a casino and in a matter of 5 minutes lost it all. My sister then sat at the same machine, put her $20 in and quadrupled her money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 156

You deserved it 2 011

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 744

You deserved it 53 561

Today, I found out why the group chat I was in with my friends has been dead. Apparently, they made a group chat without me in it, so that they could make fun of me behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 83

Today, after 4 days without being able to poop, now, while sitting stuck in traffic, I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 148

Today, my blind friend bragged to a group of people that she knew all of us by smell. We all took turns standing in front of her, and she would tell us who we were. When I got in front of her, she thought I was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 637

You deserved it 10 201