By Anonymous / Friday 13 February 2015 22:49 / United States
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By  KatHelm  |  17

Looks like you got a worthless lazy ass.

By  peceout  |  29

I hope you didn't give him any food.

By  Tthug  |  34

A week really isn't that long to go without seeing someone. But that's pretty funny. I had a friend that did that in college, more freaking often than weekly.

  Dthsapprntc  |  23

#25 because sex is a commodity that has to be bought at the store before you can enjoy it.

"I'm sorry honey, but we can't have sex tonight. I forgot to pick some up when I was at the store."

  Vestin  |  18

Oh, so that's what you consider the distinction that breaks the analogy... Very well:
"I love you, and I'd do anything for you... as long as it doesn't involve any monetary investment; otherwise I will send you an invoice."
Bottom line: if my girlfriend came to my house and was hungry, I'd feed her.


Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

By Ieri - / Saturday 12 April 2014 21:56 / Albania

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML

By haleyart / Monday 10 June 2013 16:10 / United States - Shreveport
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