By Rowansgonnarow - 05/07/2014 20:19

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 423
You deserved it 15 952

Same thing different taste

Top comments

toxic_walrus 15

She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!

Hey, i just ****** you. And this is crazy. I have chlamydia. So now you do maybe. Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.

Comments

"Hey I just sexed you, I'm that lady, should habe used a rubber, because you have chlamydia now"

I know songs don't *have* to rhyme, but you were preeeetty far off the mark.

Strider207 5

Condoms are a man's best friend. And woman's. Just use condoms.

euphoricness 28

Condoms don't protect against std's.

rocker_chick23 27

#20: You failed sex Ed, didn't you?

Rocker, he got an "F", speaking of which, the next time he gets to "F", I hope he uses a condom so it doesn't fall off.

euphoricness 28

I didn't fail sex ed, I watched many pornos!

VengeanceChicken 12

Please refrain from commenting further

skittyskatbrat 19

#27, thanks to our government pandering to the religious reich, there were 8 years of sex ed that were abstinence-only and that actually told kids how "unreliable" condoms were and shit like that. You'd think the kids would be smart enough to spend two minutes online at the CDC or NIH or WHO or any other health organization and learn otherwise, but nope. Stupidity breeds, in more ways than one.

Queen_of_Night 20

Please, for the sake of humanity, don't breed. You're barred from sex if pornos are how you leaned about sex. You're going to wreck some poor girl's vag...

Euphoricness, please stop. Yes, we know that people have contracted STDs in spite of using a condom, but that doesn't mean condoms are worthless. In fact, they help way more people than they let down. Honestly, with your logic, I think you should refrain from sex altogether until you mature some.

MrsFlowers 9

Are you being serious? Because if you are then you're just ******* stupid. The WHOLE point of a condom is it prevents anything from getting out, life SPERM. Which in turn prevents anything from getting in. Obviously when they're used properly. So YES. CONDOMS DO PROTECT YOU FROM AN STD, you dumb ass.

acerredrum 23

I think Euphoric has an excellent point. In fact, you can still die even if wearing a seat belt, lets stop wearing those. Also all medications have risks of side effects so we shouldn't take those any more. Since you can still suffer from concussions when wearing a helmet those are useless too.

MrsFlowers 9

And condoms are the ONLY protection against STD's besides refraining from having sex with someone who has one. You might want to retake sex ed because you're a dumb ass.

euphoricness 28

Well what I was trying to subtly say was that just because you have a condom, it doesn't mean you can stick your dick in anything you want. But even then, I'm not one to say how people should live their lives, especially from all the hostility I'm receiving lmao. In conclusion, yes, use condoms but be extra careful even if you do have one, considering how sex hungry people are.

Or a poor dudes asshole. Stupidity sure as hell doesn't discriminate. Also isn't it illegal to not inform someone that your about to engage in intercourse with about your std's?

World_Burner 13

That's IF you know beforehand and I believe INTENTIONALLY don't use a condom. Plus I might be mistaken but it might be limited to certain STIs.

Gunguy 11

Man that really burns to find out like that.

ColonelCusswords 24
DaMann360 19
ColonelCusswords 24

**** you guys who hate this comment that pun is freakin funny

Applause to her. Or should I say clap?

Strider207 5

I think he knows that, it's just an std joke. Not specifically chymidia or whatever the hell it is.

Oh ok, let me just walk off this STD. I think getting the proper treatment is a better answer here

I'll spare you a horrible, off-key rendition of Call Me Maybe (Clamydia Remix)

I hope you didn't "clap" after her song routine. I'm sure you will be dripping with excitement.

Dylansboobunnt 2

The clap is Gohnarrea not Clamidia

Well at least she was creative in the way she told you.

cjwayy 22

Well, at least chlamydia is curable.