Miscellaneous: Today, a friend of mine informed me that his sister used to give...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 10/04/2016 08:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a friend of mine informed me that his sister used to give him regular handjobs. When he saw the disturbed look on my face he said, "it was platonic and not sexual at all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

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Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 905

You deserved it 74 251

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 1 707

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I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 180

Today I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 436

You deserved it 230

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I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 75

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I agree, your life sucks 18 628

You deserved it 4 918

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 537

You deserved it 3 434

Today, my mom mentioned that she doesn’t think she’s gonna let my baby sister believe in Santa. When I mentioned that I believed in Santa growing up, she casually replied with, "Yeah, well you were slow." FML

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You deserved it 127