Love: Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I...

By Anonymous - 10/02/2015 14:51 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 491

You deserved it 20 890

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Malarky - 23/06/2016 19:10 - United States

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 234

You deserved it 1 233

No

By grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 100

You deserved it 5 871

By Anonymous - 20/04/2013 23:08 - United States - Denver

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 768

You deserved it 4 875

By CUCKOO - 26/10/2013 21:27 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 354

You deserved it 5 036

Let down

By colts609380 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Corona

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 270

You deserved it 3 231

Honesty is the best policy

By Anonymous - 19/06/2020 02:00

Today, I finally went on a date with a girl I've been talking to for 2 years. She is my dream girl, picture perfect and I love her with all my heart. So I asked her, half jokingly, if I was her dream guy. Her reply? "Don't ask me something you don't want to hear the answer of." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 1 242

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 280

Comedian

By WoofWoof - 27/09/2020 14:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 416

By donuts678 - 16/08/2015 23:37 - United States - Passaic

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 306

You deserved it 8 210

By well then - 30/05/2015 05:40 - United States - Forest Park

Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 786

You deserved it 2 458

DonkeyTeeth2013 22

Wednesday 11 February 2015 0:38

Well, you asked for it!

ninjahesten 18

Wednesday 11 February 2015 0:36

apply cold water to that burn..

Comments

Gokushivum 11

Wednesday 11 February 2015 0:43

I think it would be considered rude/mean to make fun of fetishes so you were kind of asking for it

OhWhoCares 42

Wednesday 11 February 2015 0:43

You might've come on there a little too strongly there OP... Next time you should try taking it down a notch... Or three...

garrett_8614 14

Wednesday 11 February 2015 5:49

I mean she was talking about her kinky sex fetishes....I don't see how you can come on any stronger than that.

olpally 32

Wednesday 11 February 2015 0:57

️Hahaha I love her! exactly what you get for being a smart ass. Good on her!

yeti37 16

Wednesday 11 February 2015 0:57

Do tell! I need imagery, I lost my Joy of Sex manual. I'm tired of going manual....

Le_ponderer 14

Wednesday 11 February 2015 0:59

When a person is telling you something personal, they are pretty vulnerable at that point in time and a glib statement will get you a somewhat defensive retort. Next time you are in that kind of situation, just listen.