Miscellaneous: Today, a classmate accused me of having butt implants because... - FML

By pancaketits - 22/03/2016 15:33 - United States - Havertown

Today, a classmate accused me of having butt implants because "women can't have a huge ass and pancake tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 348

You deserved it 1 661

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Same thing different taste

By pencilskirt - 22/03/2019 00:00

Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 129

You deserved it 292

By anamanaguchi - 31/03/2018 01:30

Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 468

You deserved it 360

By fatty - 23/01/2010 21:44 - United States

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 676

You deserved it 8 192

By notgay - 12/02/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 532

You deserved it 39 008

By Melissa Barrios - 15/07/2019 16:00

Today, my son, who has ASD, told a woman how gigantic her butt was. While trying to remind him that some things are not nice to say, he screamed that her butt is the "giantest butt ever," like it was an accomplishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 194

I like big butts and I cannot lie

By ThiccBoi - 02/05/2022 16:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I was yet again cat-called while out jogging, with many men calling me "sexy lady" and even commenting on my "birthing hips", all because I chose to wear compression pants. I'm not even a woman, I'm just a guy with a really big butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 253

By tatatest - 06/04/2012 03:02 - United States - Casselberry

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 478

You deserved it 58 997

By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 00:22

Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 577

You deserved it 730

Get better jokes

By nosy ass bitch! - 30/03/2022 16:00

Today, my classmate overheard me on the phone making an appointment at the women’s health center. The dumb bitch told everyone I was going to the clinic for STD treatment. I was scheduling my biopsy for a lump in my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 95

By fuckingcool - 14/12/2016 20:59 - United States - Ortonville

Today, my friend was complaining to me that she's gained 20 pounds and it's all gone to her butt and boobs. Meanwhile, I've also gained 20 pounds, and it's gone straight to my stomach. She looks better than she did before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 999

You deserved it 723

Next

Top comments

saxaddict122 14

Wednesday 23 March 2016 1:16

Yikes. That person was not only an asshole, but made the pancake a dirty thing. What a double fail on his part. Sorry OP

magickitten 26

Wednesday 23 March 2016 1:22

Plot twist: OP is male.

Comments

sugarshugar 11

Wednesday 23 March 2016 2:35

Itty bitty titty commitee

DarkSerebii 11

Wednesday 23 March 2016 2:40

There's tons of body shapes and sizes. Whoever said that is an ignorant fart.

SleepyPharma 21

Thursday 24 March 2016 7:29

Thanks that insult made me giggle :)

sammiaaron 16

Wednesday 23 March 2016 2:40

I don't think their opinion matters, quite frankly

uzumakinurto 13

Wednesday 23 March 2016 3:05

well said.

uzumakinurto 13

Wednesday 23 March 2016 2:55

I knew plenty of girls in school who had an ass the size of Texas and breast like Rhode Island. the opposite was true as well breast big enough to smother someone to death and yet they suffered from no ass at all disease. they are multiple body shapes and sizes

ouijacorn 9

Wednesday 23 March 2016 3:01

People who genuinely don't understand body types are terrifying, but I guess you can't fix stupid. You just keep being fabulous, op.

gopackgo97 13

Wednesday 23 March 2016 3:08

no one's ever said that to me.

thejokingguy13 12

Wednesday 23 March 2016 3:20

Squats will help the ass but as for **** well sorry

SecundusSecunda 27

Wednesday 23 March 2016 3:21

Isn't there a way of approaching women by insulting them? What a scumbag your classmate is for attempting that, if he was, and if he wasn't his ignorance is massive

TabooSushi 24

Wednesday 23 March 2016 3:53

There is. It's called "Negging."

LyricaSilvan 29

Wednesday 23 March 2016 11:16

And it's the stupidest concept ever created. Any woman who would actually fall for that tactic has little to no self-respect.

cheshireau 26

Wednesday 23 March 2016 3:31

Well, clearly they can.

DoomedGemini 37

Wednesday 23 March 2016 3:58

Someone doesn't understand the concept of different bodies and figures? I thought that was pretty common knowledge.

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The Top

Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 131

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 782

You deserved it 3 096

The Top

Today, I bought a brand new huge leather recliner. After laying down and watching football for some time, I sit up and hear a loud shatter. My iPhone was crushed by the mechanics of the chair after it slipped out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 950

You deserved it 8 492

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 523

You deserved it 2 494

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 293

You deserved it 15 973

Today, I realized timing really is everything. I met the man of my dreams less than a month before I’m relocating for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 398

You deserved it 248

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 924

You deserved it 35 567

Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that it’s been 2 hours and my daughter won’t stop bawling, or the fact that my husband threw the biggest fit, because I “had to come home too early.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 338

You deserved it 116