This Week's Top Ten Comments
You know the drill by now. Here we go.
10. Tj4234 always looks on the bright side of life.
Today, in band practice, I was talking to the other guy in my section about dividing up parts and solos fairly. I showed him a chart I'd made to help us get a better idea of the parts and who had them. For some reason, he became so offended by said chart that he quit. FML
“Congratulations, now you get all the solos.”
9. TeacherTeacher teaches OP how to be a teacher.
Today, I found out our eight-year-old son lied about his former babysitter beating him. The babysitter's already thrashed us on social media for believing our son, and now no one in town is willing to babysit for us. Looks like date night is cancelled. FML
“This makes a great teaching moment. Make sure your child understands the gravity of what he did and apologize to the babysitter. You should also find out why he lied. Does he want more time with you? Does he not like the babysitter because she enforces rules? A nice reading of The Boy Who Cried Wolf might be in order too. Careers have been ruined this way.”
8. Just like his username, somedudesomwher can't seem to finish his comment. But, yo, he did better than I did on Cali's brain-stumper of a quiz, and I work here...
"3/5 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GODDAMMIT THERE AIN'T ENOUGH SPACE TO EXPRESS MY FRUSTRA"
*this comment was previously edited by the mods because there was literally not enough space for all his frustration.
7. Sparkledoge has a newly expanded vocabulary! Don't we all?
Today, while working for the public works department, I spent 10 hours in the rain repairing potholes on a dirt road. When I was almost finished, some ass-rag in a jacked-up redneck douche-mobile flew up the road, spinning his tires and flinging the stone out of nearly all the holes I had just filled. FML
“Jacked up redneck douche-mobile is my new favorite term to define pickup trucks with douchey drivers.”
6. Apparently FMLers have frustration issues. Isn't that right, Lalala579121?
“I once got so mad at failing a song on Rock Band 2 that I threw one of the drumsticks through a cupboard door.”
5. Like most wise people, SmittyJA24 learned life's most important lessons from 80's teen movies.
"(In Mr Myaggi voice:) Wax on, mustache off."
4. Yo, Sidneyr, you are so right. #Standwiththekitty
“How would you feel if someone yelled at you when you were puking”
3. Need tips on housebreaking your children? Consult psjr.
“Hopefully he doesn't also stand in the box and use his feet to cover it. It's time to teach him to pee in the yard like a real man.”
2. Take that and rewind it back, jbursach got the flow to make ya booty go (clap).
Today, as I was trying to get out of bed, my foot began sliding across the floor. I instinctively tried to balance myself, only for the new angle to cause my right hip to painfully and loudly dislocate, making me fall face-forward into my dresser. Back stuck in bed after three days of freedom. FML
“Sleeper in the sheets, broken in the streets.”
1. Move, haters. It's our friend RichardPencil coming in hot at number 1 with this fire.
“You ought to sprinkle some mocha powder on the rim of his cup. See if he catches the anal-ogy.”
That's it for this week! You may now resume the clucking madness. Peace.