This Week’s Top 10 Comments Are In And They’re A Hoot And A Half

By Nina / samedi 2 décembre 2017 05:30
In this week’s edition of the Comment Corral, the puns are off the chain, we get some great life advice, and we learn a new term for ‘balls.’ Because ‘balls’ is so passé.

10. Incredibly good advice.

“Note to self: don't go on fml before breakfast”
-Arashikage

 

9. It’s not ogre. It’s never ogre.

“Don't worry, creepy guy, it's all ogre now. Shrek is love, Shrek is life.”
-Glowworm56

 

8. And a wham-bam from the newcomer.

“They should also be paying for his anger management therapy. God nose he needs it.”
-Christina Winden

 

7. With a knick-knack-paddywhack.

“Takes the phrase 'give the dog a bone' to a whole new level!”
-RichardPencil

 

6. A shining example of the great role models you’ll find on FML.

“Using artificial sedative isn't always the best option, try hard liquor next time.”
-Lobby_Bee

 

5. And yet for some people, that is exactly what they mean by ball-gag.

“That’s not what they mean by ‘Ball-Gag’”
-manb91uk

 

4. Isn’t it a wonder?

“These flat earthers keep popping up all around the globe..”
-exileonmainst

 

3. I’m sensing a new subcategory on fmylife.com here.

“It’s not often you read an FML that could be either a cat food ad or the premise of soft core porn. 'I decided to give him what he wanted. When I popped … it squirted … all over my shirt.'”
-Tripartita

 

2. Need help with your math homework? FML’s got free tutors!

“'…I most therefore conclude that, given some quantity of energy, it can be equated to the product of mass and the speed of light raised to the second power. In other words, E=mc². Anyway, back to the original question: 30/–5 = purple'”
-Tripartita

“I got Greece”
-Shabnam Moghal

“I think you forgot to carry the 1.”
-Tripartita

 

1. Triggered.

“I see you didn't use a comma in your username. That's it, I can't it anymore. You've driven me take up public masturbation once again. Good job. Before, I was on the road to recovery, but now a bunch of kids and old ladies are going to see me furiously bashing my man burrito in the middle of the street, and you're solely to blame. I hope you're proud of yourself, you terrible person, you.”
-Dave_Davington

 

 

META COMMENT BONUS ROUND

“In order to turn on the leaf blower, make sure to flick its nipples and insert your fingers in its belly button.”
-exileonmainst

 

“Lock up the liquor cabinet before you tell her you’re following a man on Instagram!”
-RichardPencil

 

 

FML’S SEX TIPS AWARD

“sadly I laughed at this and told my fiancé...since reading this to him he too has started trying this method...flicked nipples and a finger in the belly button DOES NOT TURN A WOMAN ON!”
-milf4u2011

 

“Alcohol based products on your privates ouch. Give him a hand job with purell see if he's still laughing.”
-WeirdUS

 

“Anything can be a dildo, if you’re brave enough.”
-cornelius74d

 

 

AN FML ENGAGEMENT AWARD

“In order to turn on the leaf blower, make sure to flick its nipples and insert your fingers in its belly button.”
-exileonmainst

“That would work in theory, but the neighbor kid put sugar in the gas tank and poked holes in the fuel hose to guarantee herself five more years of leaf-raking business!”
-RichardPencil

“Damn it Richard, we clearly have the same humour and I’m tired of waiting. When are we tying the knot?”
-exileonmainst

 

 

YOGHURT ARTILLERY AWARD

“Are you kidding? Small, sharp metal objects near his yoghurt artillery is exactly why he's in this situation in the first place.”
-Dave_Davington

 

 

BUSTED AWARD

“You should've gone back to him. I hear some people are turned on by people pissing themselves!”
-tonyfan00

“Shamefully... I’m a chick who’s into that. Only my ex girlfriend knows. I needed to get that off my chest. I hope to god nobody I know sees this."
-Soulless95

“I seent it.”
-Cali

 

 

THIS AWARD IS JUST GOING TO BE CALLED ‘THE PUN AWARD’ BECAUSE I’M NOT WITTY ENOUGH TO COME UP WITH A TITLE AS CLEVER AS THESE COMMENTS

World

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years went on a 2-week trip to Italy to spend time with his family. Thinking nothing of it, I decided to go to a Comic Con alone. I saw him there with another girl. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 23 November 2017 14:00 / United Kingdom - Poole

“That ought to make you Wonder, Woman. No? Well, then, how about... You ought to club him with a Bat, man!”
-RichardPencil

“Your puns are just super! Man, good job!”
-exileonmainst

“Thank you! For your kind words, I am truly Grateful, man. (Gratefulman is a superhero in a new upcoming comic series including ConflictResolutionwoman and Politeboy.)”
-RichardPencil

“Your puns are truly a Marvel to behold.”
-Dave_Davington

“Your puns are refreshing. Like an ice cold glass of aqua, man! I'll show myself out.”
-ohsnapword

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