The Best of the Worst of FML #38
For the people who've never seen this section of FML before, we get sent loads of FMLs, but we only publish a few, due to the fact that most aren't very good, and some are downright terrifying. Amongst those, we also get sent very dumbass stories. Or "turdcakes" as I like to call them. That's what we post in this feature. Now, brace yourself, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
Rollie pollie ollie
I slept on the bed and I felldown ....again I Slept and again I rolled down ...so I am scared to sleep now
A bug's life
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when his twin sister came running into the room screaming "I don't want to be a bug!" I'm not ready to have kids and she know she this. FML
Not chill, Fido
Today I was sitting on my couch and called my dog to come sit with me and after he sat with me I farted he smelt it and threw up on me and then ate it..... FML
Ever been sucked like this?
i'm sucked . well i was playing a new game on Facebook and i'm kinda ignore his message for 2 days . He just texted : " Hi bitch " to me . wtf? what should i do now? get over or stay with him?
The end of days must be near
Today... I was on a discord sever and i shit you not, we filled the entire chat with NERD when everybody was named Alan
TIL how babies are made
Today I decide to prank my gf by cumming to her body lotion. Next thing I know she's pregnant. She had decide to masturbate that exact day. FML
She needed to know
Today I my crush, she knows, was helping me find flowers for my GF after I got done explaining how I have erectile issues... FML
I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy
Today, I always see this girl at my bus stop. She is always alone but isn't sad. Sometimes I see her looking at a cute boy. Today she got off the bus crying and he came over without hesitation, he didn't say anything he just hugged her. It was the best day of her life. How do I know? I'm the girl.
Hard to compete with show mermaids
On Valentine's Day, a guy I was dating was using our future plan money on an escort in Vegas. Later on I found he wasn't in Vegas.. He was spending time in a different state with the girl that was next to me at a party where him and I first met. The girl is married to a model and is a show mermaid.
poetry in motion
Today i miss the bitch i loved, maybe still do. But it means nothing now. I was quite when it was meant to be said and he was waiting for me to tell him that 'ilove him'. \nI was quiet cuz I'm already burnt by the flames of love. And i felt like i cant give him the love he deserve. I miss him.
That's it for now. We'll be back next week for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the Moderate the FMLs feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird stories to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!
One for the road:
Today, I am reminded that the only man I truly loved, rejected me because I wasn’t religious at the time. I’m religious now but, I can’t find him. Six years later and I still love you J.V. FML (Joe, you’re reading this please find me -e)