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Since Tide Pod Eating Is Still A Thing, Here Are 6 Other Things You Can Eat Instead Of Poisoning Yourself

By Nadine / jeudi 8 février 2018 05:30
We've said it before and we'll say it again, this one is an FML for humanity.

We wrote an article about this a few weeks back, and we’re flabbergasted that this is still a thing. If Tide Pods actually look appetizing enough for you to try one, we’re shocked that natural selection hasn’t already run its course on you.

Despite Youtube immediately taking down any #TidePodChallenge videos and Facebook quickly following suit, it seems that this trend has not died down. In fact, according to abc7ny.com, New York lawmakers are actually calling for a state law to make the tide pods look less appetizing to people, saying “the state could lessen the risk of poisonings by prohibiting packaging that makes the pods look like candy.”

We’re not sure what part of “It’s poison, not candy” still sounds intriguing to people, but hey, we’ve decided to help you guys out.

via GIPHY

Luckily for you people who are actually disappointed by being told told not to try the Tide Pod Challenge for fear of, you know, death-- restaurants are now coming out with Tide Pod inspired food. Because, this is what the world has come to.

1. Vinnie's Pizzeria in New York is making Pied Pods


2. WakeNBake Donuts in North Carolina has made Tide Pod donuts

 

3. Molly's Bethlehem in Pennsylvania is serving up Tide Pod shots!

 

And if you're really just in it for the shock factor, (seriously, we don't understand you people) here are some other ideas for if you’re really desperate to immediately regret your decisions:

4. Expired milk

You’ll get that same, chunky gushing sensation.

5. Those candied insect things

Totally disgusting, but at least you won't die?

6. Mayo, straight out of the jar

If you haven’t gotten the point yet, basically, we just think you’re gross.

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Top comments
By  Mynxie  |  26

Yes, encourage the idea of eating them by making items look like them. Just let the stupid remove itself from the gene pool. They are doing the world a favor.

By  ashwednesday  |  11

You know what? I get it. Anyone that has ever taken an art class knows that blue and orange are contrasting colours; the ratio of blue, orange, and white in Tide Pods makes the colours complimentary and visually appealing. Tide knew what they were doing when they designed the Pods. They designed their product to catch our attention and appeal to us at an unconscious level. The first problem is the past two generations of kids grew up associating the colours Tide used to dye their detergent with treats. For example, as someone that grew up in the 90s, I associate the blue in a Tide Pod with Sour Blue Raspberry candies and the orange with Tang from my youth. After typing that out, it sounds like a disgusting combination of flavours and it makes me want to put a Tide Pod in my mouth even less than I did before, but nevertheless, the appeal is there. The second problem is that Tide Pods resemble large, “exploding” candies, like the fruit snacks that release juice into the mouth when bit into. Now, I have a fully developed adult brain and when I get the weird urge to bite into a Tide Pod, the higher functioning parts chime in to remind me that Tide Pods are not food. A teenager might not get that reminder. I also resent the notion that kids today are stupider than they were in the past. I definitely did stupid shit as a teen and, thankfully, I didn’t end up in the hospital because of it - although I very well could have and had friends that did. And before me was my parents’ generation and my dad’s friend actually brags about the stupid shit they did while experimenting with hard drugs. Yes, kids today are developing new ways to be stupid, but they aren’t any stupider than their predecessors.

Comments
By  Mynxie  |  26

Yes, encourage the idea of eating them by making items look like them. Just let the stupid remove itself from the gene pool. They are doing the world a favor.

By  ashwednesday  |  11

You know what? I get it. Anyone that has ever taken an art class knows that blue and orange are contrasting colours; the ratio of blue, orange, and white in Tide Pods makes the colours complimentary and visually appealing. Tide knew what they were doing when they designed the Pods. They designed their product to catch our attention and appeal to us at an unconscious level. The first problem is the past two generations of kids grew up associating the colours Tide used to dye their detergent with treats. For example, as someone that grew up in the 90s, I associate the blue in a Tide Pod with Sour Blue Raspberry candies and the orange with Tang from my youth. After typing that out, it sounds like a disgusting combination of flavours and it makes me want to put a Tide Pod in my mouth even less than I did before, but nevertheless, the appeal is there. The second problem is that Tide Pods resemble large, “exploding” candies, like the fruit snacks that release juice into the mouth when bit into. Now, I have a fully developed adult brain and when I get the weird urge to bite into a Tide Pod, the higher functioning parts chime in to remind me that Tide Pods are not food. A teenager might not get that reminder. I also resent the notion that kids today are stupider than they were in the past. I definitely did stupid shit as a teen and, thankfully, I didn’t end up in the hospital because of it - although I very well could have and had friends that did. And before me was my parents’ generation and my dad’s friend actually brags about the stupid shit they did while experimenting with hard drugs. Yes, kids today are developing new ways to be stupid, but they aren’t any stupider than their predecessors.

Reply
  devi_916  |  37

Fabric softener is all different colors, as is dish liquid, Cascade, lotion, and scented markers. People aren't eating those. It has nothing to do with the aesthetics of the product, and everything to do with stupidity for the sake of attention. Idiots eating poison is not the fault of the company. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY and COMMON SENSE are the problems here.

By  Madrias  |  34

At this point, I'd stop giving the little fuckers the publicity they're craving. Tell the poison control centers to respond to "my kid ate laundry detergent" with "Go call an ambulance." If they're too stupid to understand that this isn't food, and things that are not food do not go in your mouth (something that should be taught at 2 or 3), then they deserve to get very sick and/or die.

After all, this is all going on because teenagers are craving attention, so they're doing what teenagers do when they crave attention: they do stupid shit. So if the world stops giving them attention, and the poison control centers give parents the minimum amount of effort, they'll quit eating the damn things.

Rather than passing laws and demanding corporations change their product's design because some people are incapable of behaving like intelligent beings, how about we treat the source of the problem, the moronic teenagers that are misusing the product. Let the dumb-shits buy them, eat them, but keep taking down the photos and videos of them doing it. When they get sick, make the parents call an ambulance and bring the child to the hospital, only for the hospital to give the parents the bill for wasting their time.

Reply

I don't remember being taught this because it happened at such a young age. I also didn't require every piece of furniture to be attached to the wall because I was taught not to climb furniture. Where has common sense gone?

By  rubberduck_of_doom  |  30

Honestly I think you are all overreacting here! Nobody is ACTUALLY eating tidepods... it's a stupid meme and people act like they do but I don't think anybody is really stupid enough to eat one. And even if, they do it knowing full well what the consequences will be but just do not give a damn. They do it to get likes, or clicks or views or whatever. So I don't think it's sutpidity at all! The ones that actually do it (and they are few and far between) do it for attention. So please get off your high horses y'all and see it for what it is... A freaking joke -.-

By  DragonMaiden7  |  8

I’m going to be perfectly honest, I couldn’t give Two shits about these stupid teenagers, the ‘Pauler’ generation I call them. I, however, did find the very first picture and gif so funny, I ended up doing those painful quiet-wheezing laughs, where you don’t make any noise at all but you can’t stop laughing to breath. It went on so long my cat stared at me wondering if I was having a heart attack, so bravo for good editing.

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