Love and Health: Today, I rushed my wife to the ER because she was having abdominal... - FML

By France Howell - 10/05/2018 15:00

Today, I rushed my wife to the ER because she was having abdominal pains. She was crying in the car and very faintly said, "If I die, our daughter goes to my sister and they get everything in my will." We later found out she was just having a bad gas problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 841

You deserved it 353

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Tor - 21/04/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 798

You deserved it 12 948

The bed is lava

By for better or for farts - 06/08/2020 23:01

Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 198

By Jeri - 26/02/2010 12:55 - United States

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 101

You deserved it 4 340

Lingering

By Anonymous - 11/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 570

You deserved it 5 469

By nolips - 19/11/2009 15:53 - Norway

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 048

You deserved it 3 157

By Sam - 09/01/2018 19:00

Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 801

You deserved it 248

By dargas - 09/03/2010 21:08 - United States

Today, while preparing the house for company, I got a call that my sister had a heart attack and died. My wife's response? "Great! Now you're going to be no help to me at all!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 227

You deserved it 2 702

By alephnull - 02/02/2011 21:07 - Canada

Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 099

You deserved it 3 121

Better out than in

By Anonymous - 20/05/2020 02:00

Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 393

A mother's love…

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Allentown

Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 98

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Top comments

OnReceivingEnd 17

Thursday 19 April 2018 22:14

"Well, that's a relief, you're going to be just fine....until we get home and we discuss your will."

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 10 May 2018 15:26

The new truth serum: unreleased farts. I hear the CIA has a massive inventory of butt plugs...dunh-dunh-dunh!

Comments

realjojo 11

Friday 11 May 2018 3:57

OK, I have an idea of workaround to get the custody and stuff, wink wink... Your wife won't like it, probably.

franniemae 8

Saturday 12 May 2018 2:40

We need a follow-up on this story, please. After you've talked with your wife.

Paul Rushing 21

Wednesday 16 May 2018 0:32

Except your daughter isn't property and you as the father would have legal rights

thehunterofprey 5

Tuesday 5 June 2018 20:24

she's out of the will

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You deserved it 3 771

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You deserved it 20 530