Here Are The 10 Best Cookie FMLs for National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day!
1. That's love.
2. Must have been a yummy cookie
Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML
3. A good compromise I'd say
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML
4. A shitty situation, some might say.
Today, my 2 year old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (it took me 2 seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
5. Seems like this one could have been easily avoidable
Today, I bought a new cannister and it came with a label that said "Cookies" so I carefully scanned and photoshopped it to say "Coffee". Then I opened the cannister to find 11 double-sided bilingual labels -- including "Coffee". FML
6. This aint Dolla Tree.
Today, a customer yelled at me when his 9 cookies came to $5.78. He insisted that they were "3 for $1 yesterday," and told me to "shut the fuck up" when I tried to explain otherwise. I worked yesterday, and every other day for the past 3 months. They've never been 3 for $1. FML
8. So, you were really in the Christmas spirit!
Today, I made dozens of cookies just in time for Christmas. When I went to take out the last pan from the oven, I slipped. In a desperate attempt to catch the pan I grabbed it with my bare hand. My hand is striped like a candy cane. FML
9. Well, this is awkward.
10. Ruff life
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML