FML's Survival Kit #8
Hello fellow FML-ers ! It's Thursday and Christmas is slowly but surely creeping up on us, so here's another selection of stuff our team has picked out for you this week. There's something in there for everyone, whether it's for yourself, your mom or that annoying nephew that you want to piss off.
Our team, as most of you are, is really into gadgets, games and weird stuff to play with. This column will allow you to find out what sort of things we like, what makes us want to run around the office until we're giddy enough to buy, but will also give you some ideas for upcoming events like Christmas, but also birthdays and other parties where gifts are expected. Check 'em out.
"This Christmas, I'm going to try to avoid being the grumpy guy in the corner who hates his gifts and who thinks that the turkey is too dry. Instead, I'll be teaching the kids bad language from around the world. It'll come in handy when we go on holiday and we're stuck at traffic lights. A fun book for all the family to enjoy, because you can yell out bad language in the middle of your local supermarket, and there's only a 6% chance anyone will understand what you're saying."
"Christmas cushions! There's a bunch of them! They've got reindeer and all sorts of Christmas motifs on them! What more do you want? Christmas cushions! Get them now, use them all year round! Christmas! Cushions! Wahey!"
Snooping on the neighbors
"Last week I told you about how to take wide angle photos with your smartphone just by clipping a lense over it. This week it's all about spying on the neighbors. This handy little drone will allow you to do all sorts of LEGAL snooping, and making sure the woman who lives at number 32 is cleaning up after that damn poodle of hers."
Bee the change the world needs
"If like me you're concerned about the environment, you've probably heard that bees are not so hot at the moment. The bees' knees is no longer a symbol of strength and power, due to the dwindling number of these essential creatures. Buy one of these beehive contraptions and hang it in your garden to help the poor fellas out. I'm not sure exactly how it works but every little helps, eh?"
Dress you up in my love
"I did not choose this at all. I don't want to be dressed up in a Santa costume. I'm a cat, I have my dignity. Why would my human ever inflict this on me? However, it also fits on small dogs, and I hate small dogs so feel free to dress yours up in a Santa suit! Seriously though, this is a lot of fun, and cheap too. Because cats have no concept of money."
Not extinct yet
"I was looking for something to get my mom for Christmas, and there's a whole selection of dinosaur stuff available. Like this Brontosaurus ladle! I've decided to go down this gift route because I'm not a very nice person, equating my mom with dinosaurs, but she'll love it. It's a great stocking filler and a good starting point if you're not sure what to get."
Pictures of you
"This takes me back to the days when cameras were cameras and it took days to get a film developed and the advent of Polaroid instant films was like a modern miracle. This camera will print out your photos and it's even got the trademark stripes… It'll bring a tear to the eye of any nostalgic old man like myself."
"I'm going to sound like Margot but: Star Wars. Star. Wars. Check out this Death Star lamp. It looks cool in the dark and it's great if you know someone who's afraid of the dark, not that I am, no, never. Anyway, get this amazing looking lamp for the Star Wars fanatic in your life and they'll love you forever. Star! Wars!"
That's it for this week. Hope you enjoyed our selection, and maybe even bought a few things! See you soon for some more stuff in the run up til Christmas!