FML's Survival Kit #5
Hi everyone ! It's Thursday when we show you stuff that we've liked over the past week. Buying stuff makes us feel alive and less like failures, and we like things that allow us to avoid thinking too hard about the void in our lives. Anyway, here's the stuff that we liked this week!
Our team is really into gadgets, games and weird objects. This column will allow you to find out what sort of things we like, what makes us giggle enough to buy, but will also give you some ideas for gifts, either for yourself or someone special. Check 'em out.
Where have you been?
"I really love foreign countries, traveling abroad and discovering new cultures. I've been all over the world, so this map is great fun for keeping tabs on the countries I've been to by scratching them out. I almost used it for checking all the countries I'd had sex in, but it wouldn't have as much fun."
Wipe the pain away
"Everyone uses toilet paper. Well, unless you're from some distant tribe in the Amazon, or someone stuck in woods with only poison ivy nearby. And fun, printed toilet paper can be quite a giggle. I chose this one because of obvious reasons. And I can do to the paper what he'll be doing to the USA over the next four years."
My F(ML) life
"I've been ill recently so I've been stuck at home with my mom, who doesn't have a TV or the internet. So I went out and bought this book, which is hysterically funny, and reminds me of the last time I was at school, on my 13th birthday. I was terrible at school stuff, so this funny book brought back many strange memories."
I've used it 79 times today
"Ever feel annoyed, whether at work, or at home, but mainly at work, this is the fun gadget you should be getting. It's a button you can press whenever you feel like life is getting you down, or just to get someone to shut up. Carry it around with you, it can do all the talking for you!"
"My human tried to get my girlfriend to try these on, and she duly complied. It seems that humans get turned on by this sort of thing. All I see is a flesh-filled scratching post, which got me into trouble when I tried to test my theory out. Get them for that extra pussy sexiness. Or something like that."
Can't get rid of the smell of failure, though
"My place stinks. It's awful. I live over a vegan restaurant and the stench that emanates from that place is unbearable. Added to that, my current boyfriend is trying to keep warm by eating cheese fondues non-stop. So this stuff is perfect for making your bathroom smell nice, but not in a shitty "Pinecone hanging on a rear-view mirror" way. Get it if you want your bathroom, and home, to smell better than a dumpster.
"This selection is a bit more expensive than the rest but no too much. If you enjoy music and like the sound of crackling vinyl, or want to convert your mum's old Duran Duran records into mp3 files, this thing can do it. "
Cleanliness is nuts
"This is funny AND useful. What more could you want from life ? It's great when, like me you have to take the dirty subway to work every morning, and I can't do that without cupping my nuts, so when I get to the office I whip out my hand sanitizer and the day can begin. Also works as a gag gift, or a gift to someone who needs to get the message about their personal hygiene."
That's it for this week. Hope you enjoyed our selection, and maybe even bought a few things! See you soon.