Drum Roll Please... The 10 Funniest Comments Of The Week Are In!
10. DON'T JUDGE A STEPHEN KING BOOK BY IT'S COVER, OK
“Extra FML -- it was Pennywise.” -JasonThorn
9. Made it in just for 'Agent JPN, signing out."
“Your helicopter mom may have powers granted by the devil himself... to test our theory you need to quickly buy a plane ticket to Asia (I recommend Mongolia).
While you are hanging with the Mongols, you can warn them about the monster known as "mom" and see how long it takes her to track you down with her devil granted powers.
Once you check in with the time it took her, we will plot our next move.
Agent jpn signing out” -me_in_jpn
8. Titties titties titties
Today, I’m still trying desperately to explain to my boyfriend why I’m not interested in any kind of breast or nipple play. I gave birth to our son just 2 months ago and I strictly breastfeed. He insists it’s "not fair" that the baby gets the breasts all the time. Um, what? FML
“Q: What's the same about boobs and Legos? A: They were made for children, but it's the men who play with them.” -ChromoTec
7. And some more titties
Today, my new bikini must be cheap as shit because I tanned nicely where I put on sunscreen, but where I didn’t apply it under the bikini I’ve gotten super red sunburn on my butt, my lady bits, and my boobs. My nipples look like the ends of red felt tip pens. FML
"As much as I like boobs, I imagine in a few days they won’t be very a-peeling.” -RichardPencil
6. 10/10 response if OP could make it out alive
“Just say you have had better fluids splashed on you and holy water can’t compare.” -Leeono
5. It's like the friend zone, but for people who go to monster truck rallies
Today, after my boyfriend had been away for months, I invited him over to have sex. He said he hurt his back too badly to do anything. Don't worry though, it doesn't hurt enough to stop him from working on his truck for several hours. FML
“This is the first time I've heard of the 'truck-zone'” - ChromoTec
“I’m sorry, I’m having a difficult time hearing you. Can you please speak closer to my butt.” -Donut_Wizard
3. Cum jokes are rarely that funny, and usually pretty gross... and yet here we are at #3...
“You're grossed out by him injecting his saliva in your mouth?
Do you want to know what's cumming soon?” -RichardPencil
2. It was tough to decide between #2 and #1, but they both come from the same FML...
“Nocturnal Tourette Syndrome is no fucking ball-gag cock-sucking joke.” -ThrottleJockey
“Tell them you heard THEM last night and mom shouldn't use the lords name like that” - Davros
META COMMENT BONUS ROUND
"Well her boyfriend was busy working on his truck. What else is she going to do?" - Dustin Allen-Duwayne Lakey
“And this is why we poop in trash cans.
You have a 360° perimeter to scan for approaching idiots.” -RichardPencil