Cheesecake bonanza! 10 FMLs that break out the baking (non) skills!
If music is the food for love, is cheesecake the music of food?
What a strange question. What we do know is that cheesecake is wonderful, but then again, so are most cakes and desserts. Especially rhubarb crumble. But it's not Rhubarb Crumble Day, so let's concentrate on what's happened on FML over the years. Was cheesecake invented in the USA?
Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML
Ask for something pathetic, get a pathetic (but just as mouth-watering) sort of reply.
Dude, don't ask for nudes!
It also seems that cheesecake and sexist clichés go hand in hand (and The Notebook is a TERRIBLE movie).
Baking isn't a choice, you're born a baker
Even though, sometimes, you should just stop trying.
You don't need a reason to bake, but it can be therapeutic. But thanks grandma for the uplifting speech!
Today, what started as my mom calling my grandma for a recipe turned into them discussing the philosophical reason behind my baking. I apparently picked up baking because I'm depressed over unemployment. And here I thought I just liked the smell of baked goods. FML
Hey kids, how about you try baking? It can help you learn to… wait a minute! What's cooking in here??
Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
Some people bake for themselves, some people bake for others. But when you're taken for granted, you feel like telling them all to bake off and die.
Today, my stepmom asked me to bake pies for a dinner party she was having. Since I love baking, I said yes. When I went to deliver the pies, I found out they were for a family dinner I wasn't invited to. FML
If you spot a cake, cheese or otherwise, just don't be greedy and ask first.
Today, a coworker left a chocolate cake on the "free food" table in the office. I had a slice. She's just called to ask if she left her grandmother's birthday cake at work. She made it from scratch. Now I'm baking a new cake in the office kitchen. FML
This is along the same lines, but proves that cake is stronger than anything in the known universe.
Today, after waiting 20 minutes in the math assistance center for help, the adviser abandoned me mid-question. Not because she was requested or had something important to do, but because she wanted to get another slice of cake and continue a conversation with her friend. FML
And finally: do you really think that people don't know their cakes and that you can pull a fast one with ham?
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
To summarize: send us cheesecake. Tons of the stuff.