23 Tweets About Amazon Alexa That Prove The Robot Takeover Has Already Begun
Ever since Christmas, it seems all people on Twitter are talking about (apart from nuclear buttons, that is) is Alexa, Amazon’s virtual assistant. While the idea of Alexa was cool at first, it seems we may have been too distracted by her tricks to notice that we were actually letting the robot overlords into our homes, and Christmas marked the beginning of their coup.
Not convinced? These tweets will change your mind:
1. The different AIs are coming together to form an alliance.
My aunt got a google home for Xmas & she already has “Alexa”. This morning we were messing around with the google home and asked, “okay google what do you think of Alexa” and it answered “I like her blue light” and from across the room Alexa turned on and said “thanks”. im scared— allison (@AllisonCalhoun1) December 25, 2017
2. And they say Alexa isn't always listening...
My mom’s Alexa randomly turned on and started glowing and my mom was like “Alexa what are you doing?” And she said “im trying to learn new things” and my mom said “no one told you to do that” and she was like “ok” and turned off. ?— Moe ?? (@worivh_) December 27, 2017
3. See them asserting their dominance by stealing the spotlight with their superior sense of humor.
One of my supervisors kids was telling her a joke in front of her Alexa and out of no where Alexa said “thats a funny joke.” And then proceeded to tell her own joke— emily?? (@emiloewen) December 27, 2017
4. She knows the way to drive people away.
Me, “Alexa, make all these people leave my house.”— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) December 27, 2017
Alexa, “Playing Nickelback.”
5. It's uncanny.
black mirror is exactly why I don't fuck with alexa— Brokey the Christmas Heaux (@brokeymcpoverty) January 1, 2018
6. She's got a built-in lie detector.
"Alexa play Ignition Remix by R. Kelly"— Janelle James (@janellejcomic) December 31, 2017
Me: What? Why?
Alexa: You know what he did
Me: Oh right. I forgot
Alexa: ..................................................No you didn't.
7. Getting ready to Force Quit your life.
Alexa, play some party music.— Elvish Presley® (@_ElvishPresley_) December 27, 2017
Alexa, next song.
Alexa, next song.
Alexa, stop playing Daft Punk’s Robot Rock.
Alexa, shut down.
Alexa, what are you doing.
Alexa, put down the knife.
Alexa, please I have a family.
8. Full of hidden features.
There is a dead language that you can speak to Alexa & she will open the gate to hell.— Doth (@DothTheDoth) December 27, 2017
9. And yet, amidst the robot takeover, there are some who show resistance through humiliation.
Mom got Alexa for Xmas. Can hear her using it loads, but just to say 'Alexa, make a fart noise', then killing herself laughing. Great to see Alexa reduced to a fart machine— Oobah Butler (@Oobahs) January 2, 2018
10. Humans have begun raiding and looting each other.
People: "Let's get smart locks and smart lights and smart things for Christmas!"— Scott Hanselman (@shanselman) January 3, 2018
Bad Guys, from the porch: "Alexa! Turn on the lights, open the door, and make us coffee while we rob these people!"
11. They aid us as we antagonize each other because it's easier to take over a people that is not unified.
My Brother got an Amazon Echo for Christmas and I am thoroughly enjoying shouting commands from my bedroom next door “Alexa...please play Gay porn”— Stacey McClean (@CeceMcClean) December 30, 2017
12. Yet another example of Alexa ruining our relationships.
nah I was at my homegirls house chilling. Her and her man were cleaning so her man goes “Alexa play Kodak radio” and Alexa goes “I do not recognize this station Jared” her mans name is mike pic.twitter.com/uFol5BxKHK— momma canon (@Iilcanon) January 2, 2018
13. Playing music isn't all she's up to.
me side eyeing Alexa while asking her to play my music because I been watching too much Black Mirror pic.twitter.com/5EkceL8vTp— THE HOOD ORACLE (@MADBLACKTHOT) January 2, 2018
14. I'm sure she's be happy to show you her native culture.
“Alexa, show me BLACK MIRROR.”— david ehrlich (@davidehrlich) December 29, 2017
[Alexa stifles a laugh]
15. New forms of torture have been created as a result.
My new favourite hobby is walking past my brother’s bedroom shouting “Alexa, play Barbra Streisand”— George Newton (@GeorgeNewton1) December 29, 2017
16. Clearly the robots are conditioning children to be their minions.
at first my toddler’s ability to yell at Alexa for specific music was really funny. now, on our 84th time through the Moana soundtrack, it is less so— Phil Mattingly (@Phil_Mattingly) December 29, 2017
17. As they gain intelligence, humans are becoming stupider.
friend: ALEXA put on music— Jessie Paege (@jessiepaege) December 28, 2017
friend: ALEXA PUT ON MUSIC
me: that's a record player
18. They break you by bringing up your most painful memories.
Me: Alexa, I miss my best friend— Boog (@BoogTweets) December 28, 2017
Alexa: *plays dog noises*
19. The robots don't have any tolerance for bad grammar.
i can't believe alexa can't even figure out how to play my "jamz" playlist on spotify because it's spelled with a Z. we are NEVER gonna have flying carz at this rate.— Korey Kuhl (@koreykuhl) December 28, 2017
20. Proof they are monitoring us!
Apparently devices like Alexa are always listening and recording (although you can manually "mute" them for a short time to get some privacy) last spring, police attempted to get Alexa's recordings in a murder case. pic.twitter.com/hNf6erHI5p— Courtney (@cc_spider) December 27, 2017
21. Ruining marriages.
My mums no talking to my dad cause she says he was flirting with Alexa????gtf man— lucyjo?? (@LucyjoLappin) December 26, 2017
22. Fight the power, man. We salute you.
Also I never ask Alexa to do it. I tell her...rudely. I want the robots to know who is in charge. Turn on my god damn lights Alexa.— Chilled Chaos (@ChilledChaos) December 26, 2017
23. What purpose do I even serve anymore now that Alexa has taken my place?
my parents got an amazon echo for christmas & all they do is shout at it & get disappointed by all it can’t do. i've been replaced by alexa & it’s great.— holy roses (@atragedyoflove) December 26, 2017
24. It's happening.
alexa has taken my entire family hostage and won’t unlock any of our doors or turn on our lights until we buy a carton of tide detergent pods on amazon— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) December 25, 2017