20 Funny FMLs Warning You Of What To Expect If You're Having Christmas Dinner Or Lunch With The Family!
1 - We're still not sure whether it was a joke or not.
Today, my dad and brother found a Christmas present that they'd "forgotten" to give me. Expecting a joke, I apprehensively opened it. But I still wasn't prepared to unwrap the neck of the Christmas turkey. It had been rotting in the living room for 2 days. The smell was indescribable. FML
2 - Kids at Xmas are the worst. Feed them all some Xanax or booze.
Today, my cousin left her undisciplined demon-child at my house for Christmas. This child destroyed the other children's gifts and made so much noise that the neighbors called the police. The adults can't really discipline her while her mother is away, so all we can do is apologize in this child's wake. FML
3 - Fun for all the family
4 - It's the final countdown
Today, I'm supposed to go to my girlfriend's house for Christmas with her family. I got a text from her saying that her dad found our used condom package from last night. I'm supposed to be there in 3 hours. FML
5 - Never lend stuff to infants, especially to play with.
Today, I went to my uncle's house to celebrate Christmas. His kids don't have their own phones so I let them play with mine. They sent all my contacts messages saying I love them, including two of my ex-girlfriends who both immediately wanted to make up and started to frantically call me. FML
6 - Dammit mom, leave me alone!
7 - Thanks for the invite, I guess…
Today, I was having a Christmas Eve party and my sewer got backed up. Everyone had to go home and now I have to wait until Monday to get it fixed. It's a 15-minute drive to the local McDonald's to take a crap. FML
8 - The invisible woman
Today, I went to a Christmas party to visit family. Dinner time came around and I sat down at the table to eat. All of the food either had nuts or meat. I am allergic to nuts and I've been a vegetarian for three years. FML
9 - Why should SHE have to pay for it?
10 - They might start calling you Jabba the Hut if you get any bigger
11 - Who forgets Christmas??
12 - Booze and moms, ruining Christmasses since the end of prohibition.
13 - Marley and Me, the Xmas Box Set
14 - Always blame it on the youngest member of the team.
15 - Fight Club is always on at Christmas
Today, while staying at my brother's place for the Christmas holidays, I had to leave because he threatened to "take me outside". Apparently he doesn't like being corrected on whether a certain car has a long wheel base version, so I guess the family Christmas is over. FML
16 - Nothing wrong with a bit of liquid fun on Christmas Eve!
17 - The Christmas Bingo!
Today, I went to my dad's house for Christmas. Soon enough, my grandma had commented on how much weight I've gained, my aunt asked me why I'm still single, and my dad joined in by reminding me that I still haven't been accepted into college. Only three more days to go. FML
18 - Smarmy little twerp.
19 - The old switcheroo
Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML
20 - Crafty
Now you know what to expect!
Don't say that we didn't warn you… but if your Christmas is a total FML, send it in and we might post it. Merry Christmas!