18 FMLs About Drummers For International Percussion Month
The first music lessons I ever took were drum lessons. Inspired by the young Tara Reid, who, before electrifying screens in the Sharknado series (her obvious magnum opus), played the drummer in Josie and the Pussycats, I set off on my quest to be cool. I didn’t last long in the class. Turns out, I was misreading my admiration for the character as having stemmed from her musical talents, when actually I just wanted to wear her furry cat ears and asymmetrical purple halter (I made a great pussycat that year for Halloween).
The drums just weren’t for me. I wasn’t cool enough, but more importantly, I wasn’t coordinated enough. And just like Josie and the Pussycats doesn’t get enough credit for how great it and it’s accompanying soundtrack were, drummers often aren’t given enough credit for the skill it takes to play. They’re not all airheads (like Tara Reid in JATP)!
...that being said, we’re going to focus on all the times they were. This is FML, after all.
1. When your neighbor decides to Rage Against The Machine
Today, I practiced my drum playing in the garage instead of my room out of consideration for my neighbors. Guess the consideration wasn't mutual, because one of my neighbors just shot a hole in one of my drums with an air gun. FML
2. The rockstar life is the life for me
Today, the drummer from my band stole the $200 deposit for our rental practice space and used it for a trip down to Maryland with his girlfriend. A few hours ago, my brother and I found him passed out in his cousin's house, very hungover. His first words to us were, "Can I borrow 20 bucks?" FML
3. An expression of love
4. So metal
Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML
5. When you're a drummer, the world is your instrument!
6. The Take Over, the Break's Over
Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML
7. Can I get a "HELL YEAHHH?"
Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML
8. Kitty goes to 11
Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML
9. This just slipped your mind before?
10. Caught between Rock and a hard place
11. Drumroll please
12. Good for them
13. Just because your drums have been sold doesn't mean you don't have something to bang *wink wink*
14. Nick Cannon could have filled in for you
Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML