13 Tweets About Hanukkah that Will Light Up Your Night Like A Menorah
1. Yeah, but 8 family nights in a row...
Whether we celebrate Chanukah, Christmas or Kwanzaa I think we can all agree that quality family time is a disaster— andy lassner (@andylassner) December 26, 2012
"It happens to a lot of guys" - girl on Hanukkah to a guy who can't make his oil last 8 days— Megan Amram (@meganamram) December 11, 2011
3. I'd watch 'em.
Christmas movies rebooted as Hanukkah movies:— Brohibition Now (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 22, 2015
-A Christmas Carole King
-It's a Wonderful Life When You Call Your Mother
[Christianity]— Brohibition Now (@OhNoSheTwitnt) November 27, 2017
You were a bad boy this year. Santa is gonna give you coal. (Christmas music starts playing)
You were a bad boy this year. God is gonna write you into the Book of Death. (Metal music starts playing)
Actual conversation I had this morning:— Marissa Goldberg (@MarissaCgold) November 30, 2017
?♂️ “What are you doing for Christmas?”
??♀️ “Oh. I’m Jewish I don’t celebrate Christmas, we do Hannukah!”
?♂️ “Wow, so do you don’t celebrate Halloween either?”
??♀️ “...” pic.twitter.com/AKEMBc85fl
6. Is it Hanukkah or Chanukah?!
Every year I spell Hanukkah differently and it's correct every time.— Splendid Hobo (@Hobo_Splendido) November 26, 2017
7. It's a dark time for everyone.
*at the breakfast table*— Jake Sinsky (@jake_sinsky) November 25, 2017
My dad: so Chanukah’s coming up jake. Anything specific that you might want?
Me: a purpose.
8. How stressful!
Imagine if ur cell phone battery was on 10% and it lasted for 8 days. Now you understand Chanukah.— @holyghostnyc (@HolyGhostNYC) December 24, 2016
9. What's up with that, huh?
Okay but can we talk about the war on Hanukkah because I've never seen a menorah on a Starbucks cup— Ruth Hater Ginsburg (@NotoriousRHG) November 29, 2017
10. Same as Starbucks, apparently.
why didn't the grinch ever steal hanukkah what does he have against the jews— YOUNG NUT (@fuckairbud) November 26, 2017
11. Now that would be a banger.
Think how much more exciting "Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel" would be if they'd written it after the dreidel was dry & ready.— Mike Leffingwell (@mikeleffingwell) April 19, 2015
12. Equal opportunity employers.
I've never seen a workplace Hanukkah display that didn't shout, "We legally had to do this."— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) December 7, 2012
13. How sad?
Just realized this is going to be my first Hanukkah without Charles Manson— Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) November 29, 2017