13 FMLs About All Kinds of Ghosts to Get You Pumped for National Ghost Hunting Day
The last Saturday of every September is National Ghost Hunting Day, and this year it falls right on the eve of October, just in time to kick off the spookiest month of the year. And while Ghostbusters may have made ghost hunting look like just fun and games, it is actually a terrifying and dangerous task.
The trouble with hunting ghosts is that they can be lurking anywhere, sometimes wandering as floating spirits, and sometimes inhabiting other forms, so to get a better sense of what we’re dealing with on this holiday, we took to our archives to do some research.
Here are some of our favorite FMLs about ghosts, all kind of ‘em!
1. These kinds of ghosts are experts at disappearing. Arguably the worst ghosts of all.
Today, I was texting a girl I was interested in and we exchanged Instagram names. She ghosted me right after. She's the fourth girl to have done this to me in the past month. I guess I'm unattractive, but at least I'm good at texting. FML
2. There are the flesh and blood ghosts.
Today, I yelled at a new employee for violating the company's makeup policy which is minimum coverage. She had red lipstick, very dark drawn eyebrows, and foundation that made her look like a ghost. She took out a makeup wipe and used it then showed me it, only to reveal she doesn't wear any. FML
3. And then there are ghost kitties, the cutest kind.
4. The kind that died in a fire.
5. The kind that follow teir loved ones after death.
Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML
6. These ghosts deserve to be beat up.
7. Some ghosts live in dangerous places, like the ones this guy was trying to catch.
Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML
8. This kind of ghost has traditionally haunted Jews.
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
9. Forget what I said about ghosting be the worst kind of ghost, because child ghosts are actually the worst.
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
10. This kind smells like death. I have heard ghosts smell like rotting eggs.
11. The most cliché of all ghosts.
Today, I was closing the deal on this beautiful $200k ranch in the country. The buyer soon pulls up and we get to discussing the contract terms, soon the buyer asks the seller," Wow why is this house going so cheap?" The seller replies, "Do you believe in ghosts?" There goes my $8,000 commission. FML
12. The ghost that lives in mommy and daddy's room.
13. The kind that do you physical harm.
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML