11 FMLs About Kids Who Find Out Santa’s Not Real That Prove Kids Are The MOST Extra
The real world is no merry-go-round. Grown-up stuff like taxes, credit scores, and mothers-in-law are a real, looming dark spot on society. As adults, especially FML-loving aults (that is to say, dark and dramatic), we lose the magic we believed in as children, and honestly, it sucks. The first step of growing up and moving one step closer to this stressful and dark reality? Finding out Santa isn’t real.
In the case of finding out the reality of Santa Claus, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The children who learn the truth, and the parents who failed to defend it. These are their stories:
1. Triple the drama.
Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML
2. Be careful what you say in fits of rage!
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
3. She's going to be a fun teenager.
4. Way to break the news, teach.
5. Kids can be awfully brutal.
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
6. They're all the same.
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
7. I'm more concerned about her exposure to Slender Man...
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
8. It was about time.
9. I guess you can rule that way out.
Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML
10. Yeah, OP, grow up.
Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML
Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML