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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML

#3930
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6553) - you deserved it (24946)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:08pm - animals - by ThatsNotRight - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

#3882
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7308) - you deserved it (39797)

On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

#3778
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17605) - you deserved it (2462)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

#3426
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28134) - you deserved it (2864)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

#3203
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5821) - you deserved it (30617)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

#2835
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23931) - you deserved it (2455)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

#1633
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16247) - you deserved it (1849)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:50pm - animals - by dirtyfoot - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

#1384
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11409) - you deserved it (33643)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:38pm - animals - by Fucked - United States (North Carolina)

Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML

#923
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19281) - you deserved it (5237)

On 01/10/2009 at 3:21am - animals - by Crystal - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML

#896
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8784) - you deserved it (21027)

On 01/09/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by Elizabeth - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

#615
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21626) - you deserved it (4440)

On 12/28/2008 at 2:02am - animals - by bundie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML

#502
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5839) - you deserved it (32169)

On 12/12/2008 at 7:08am - animals - by Slaanesh - Sent from mobile version



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