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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

#3426
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28117) - you deserved it (2864)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

#3203
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5818) - you deserved it (30603)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

#2835
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23916) - you deserved it (2452)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

#1633
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16232) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:50pm - animals - by dirtyfoot - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

#1384
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11403) - you deserved it (33613)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:38pm - animals - by Fucked - United States (North Carolina)

Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML

#923
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19256) - you deserved it (5232)

On 01/10/2009 at 3:21am - animals - by Crystal - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML

#896
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8782) - you deserved it (21013)

On 01/09/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by Elizabeth - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

#615
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21618) - you deserved it (4438)

On 12/28/2008 at 2:02am - animals - by bundie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML

#502
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5832) - you deserved it (32147)

On 12/12/2008 at 7:08am - animals - by Slaanesh - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

#325
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (21501)

On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

#305
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22605) - you deserved it (12590)

On 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm - animals - by dooommage - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at the dinner table, my grandmother told me she backed over a cat. FML

#65
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (3897)

On 10/26/2008 at 5:20pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Alabama)



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