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Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

#128340
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95684) - you deserved it (6702)

On 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm - animals - by sammatthews2007 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

#115148
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12001) - you deserved it (36760)

On 02/23/2009 at 4:58pm - animals - by frenchpop1960 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17317) - you deserved it (56168)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML

#94421
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7828) - you deserved it (44685)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:44am - animals - by Chubsley (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that there are more framed pictures of my mom's dog than pictures of me around the house. FML

#89971
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37230) - you deserved it (2933)

On 02/20/2009 at 5:02pm - animals - by d0pey (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48223) - you deserved it (9797)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

#63875
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36178) - you deserved it (3156)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46110) - you deserved it (6234)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser. Thinking it was a Valentine's gift, I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog died since I was away. FML

#42474
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45286) - you deserved it (1915)

On 02/14/2009 at 3:50pm - animals - by Anne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

#35996
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40882) - you deserved it (6158)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:42am - animals - by abi_vet_student (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

#26407
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17159) - you deserved it (22495)

On 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm - animals - by qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got this huge package at my college dorm from my parents with candy, chips, canned soup and all these goodies. When I called my mom to thank her, she replied "We got rid of your cat, Annie". FML

#22256
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35651) - you deserved it (2065)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46035) - you deserved it (13876)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)



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