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Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

#691341
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19680) - you deserved it (88293)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:08pm - animals - by trainE - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79164) - you deserved it (163792)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and explaining to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

#669476
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53098) - you deserved it (7009)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom found a box full of stuff she had been looking for. She starts going through it and finds baby pictures of my sister and I as well as pictures of the cats. She puts my baby pictures back in the box and closes the lid. The cat pictures are now hanging in her living room. FML

#656322
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47208) - you deserved it (3349)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML

#628837
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46477) - you deserved it (24390)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:39pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I completed my 6 month training program for a track competition this weekend. I went to the park to run anyways because I needed some air after my boyfriend broke up with me. After one lap, my neighbor's 130 lb dog ran across the soccer field and jumped on me to say hi. My leg is broken. FML

#592855
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84460) - you deserved it (3920)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by fmrunning (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML

#487128
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88569) - you deserved it (9020)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:08am - animals - by frame (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML

#454917
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53553) - you deserved it (17466)

On 03/18/2009 at 10:57pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fish's tank was all green and nasty, but I had no time to clean it because I woke up late, so the job was left to my mom. When I came back, the water level seemed high, and the fish looked a little strange, so I asked my mom what she did. She said "I cleaned the tank with chlorine!" FML

#404530
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44673) - you deserved it (27919)

On 03/17/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by Poorfish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML

#400930
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (201147) - you deserved it (16851)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm - animals - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was walking my friends dog around the neighborhood, as I was walking I noticed a little girl fall off her bike. I let go of the dog and ran over to help. The girl was ok but the dog ran into the street and got hit by a truck. FML

#298417
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66143) - you deserved it (21050)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:19am - animals - by the_dog_sitter (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML

#293616
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87080) - you deserved it (3597)

On 03/12/2009 at 10:20pm - animals - by LJ (woman) - United States (Florida)



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