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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

#35996
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40862) - you deserved it (6154)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:42am - animals - by abi_vet_student (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

#26407
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17154) - you deserved it (22484)

On 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm - animals - by qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got this huge package at my college dorm from my parents with candy, chips, canned soup and all these goodies. When I called my mom to thank her, she replied "We got rid of your cat, Annie". FML

#22256
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35626) - you deserved it (2063)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46021) - you deserved it (13864)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34196) - you deserved it (13275)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19971) - you deserved it (34035)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past my face and I kept trying to swat at it... only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away. I have no depth perception. FML

#7338
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13051) - you deserved it (14587)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:56am - animals - by Mith (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38546) - you deserved it (1887)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

#6800
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (7403)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm - animals - by Ves (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

#5060
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18511) - you deserved it (6428)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I asked my mother if she thought my cat was getting fat. She replied "It's not the cat you should worry about". FML

#5051
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21440) - you deserved it (4705)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:22pm - animals - by mikep - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18848) - you deserved it (4232)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

#4050
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29742) - you deserved it (4243)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by JulleandCici - Sent from mobile version



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