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Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

#1188272
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115630) - you deserved it (4548)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - animals - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51153) - you deserved it (23957)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

#1131048
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66346) - you deserved it (6910)

On 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm - animals - by yuckspider (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my blind friend bragged to a group of people that she knew all of us by smell. We all took turns standing in front of her, and she would tell us who we were. When I got in front of her, she thought I was my dog. FML

#1086654
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46516) - you deserved it (9163)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by Spec (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML

#1078631
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68107) - you deserved it (3106)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:45am - animals - by englishtrio (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

#1016784
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56616) - you deserved it (15328)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:38am - animals - by oops1234 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: golden retrievers running through a field and eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commerical. FML

#984041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42169) - you deserved it (22482)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was driving and I saw was a dog running onto the road, I slammed on the brakes to a completely stop. Multiple cars crashed into the back of my car. It turns out it wasn't a dog, it was just newspaper blown by the wind. FML

#943604
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27366) - you deserved it (48856)

On 04/13/2009 at 1:41am - animals - by Peta - Canada

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97661) - you deserved it (4656)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over a month, at the local pound. Clearly it was my dog, she responded to her name and cried when she saw me. However, the woman there told me I could not simply take her, I had to follow through with all policies. I paid $250 to adopt my own dog. FML

#927038
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64765) - you deserved it (9068)

On 04/12/2009 at 1:55pm - animals - by anbrown6 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I dog-sat for my neighbors' pitbull. Weighing in at 100 pounds with a nasty bite; this dog was no lap dog, but I treated it as one - not knowing how deadly this dog could be - beckoning it towards me with my hand. I now have 6 stitches in my hand and arm, and the neighbors didn't pay me. FML

#919656
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46345) - you deserved it (15940)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:39pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally decided to get a dog. I have always been wanting to get one ever since I was a child. I bought a $1,400 Golden Retriever. I went out for lunch a few hours later with a friend, so I left my dog in the backyard. I came back home to a broken fence and no dog. FML

#909263
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23050) - you deserved it (57843)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (221920) - you deserved it (27699)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)



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