Today, my mother showed me a picture of a dog in need of a home. Excitedly, I asked if we were getting it, having wanted one for a few months now. She said, 'No. I'm not even sure why I showed you." FML

by AnnaMuffin / 04/26/2016 at 6:08pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Animals

Today, there was a gigantic wasp in my room. It stupidly flew upwards and got hit by the rotating fan. It then immediately decided to take it's revenge by stinging me. FML

by Sting / 04/26/2016 at 4:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, while trying to open the packaging to my new headphones, I got startled by my cat suddenly meowing and cut through the headphone wire. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2016 at 1:38am / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Animals

Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML

by Completely Fed Up / 04/20/2016 at 2:55pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years, I was backing out of his driveway when he came running out yelling "STOP!" I thought he wanted to make up so I kept going, until I'd run over his dog. FML

by itsnotyouitsme / 04/20/2016 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I twisted my ankle on a mole hill in front of my house. I regularly try to stomp them down so I guess this was retribution. Well played, mole. Well played. FML

by WhoaZombie / 04/18/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML

by RestlessDiesel / 04/18/2016 at 10:40am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

by sigh / 04/12/2016 at 10:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML

by xXWhiteSheepXx / 04/07/2016 at 10:28pm / United States (Nebraska) / Animals

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

by Koko / 04/07/2016 at 12:07pm / Germany (Berlin) / Animals

Today, I spent hours putting together a beautifully intricate jigsaw to give to my grandmother, who likes to frame them and hang them on her wall. Just as I was about to finish it, I discovered my dog chewing the last piece. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 4:34am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Animals

Today, I have always been terrified of stinkbugs. As I was cleaning out my horse trailer, I looked up and saw a stinkbug. In my startled attempt to turn around and run, I tripped, fell into an old plastic bin. I landed face first into a nice little pile of dead stinkbugs. FML

by mmaarrrggoo / 04/03/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a crow somehow got stuck in my ceiling. It's been making tons of noise for 9 hours now, including crowing very loudly. I live in a one-bedroom apartment, I have no access to the attic and the property owner doesn't give a shit. FML

by SeverelyAnnoyed / 03/31/2016 at 1:53pm / Netherlands / Animals