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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11624) - you deserved it (3432)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that even though your brother agrees to watch your dogs for a week, it does not mean that he will pick up after them. Apparently, it's okay to leave piss and shit all over the deck and floors because they're not his dogs and he shouldn't have to clean up their messes. FML

#20120904
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14050) - you deserved it (2536)

On 10/17/2012 at 11:53am - animals - by JennyPenny (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17430) - you deserved it (3147)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

#20115908
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15140) - you deserved it (2403)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:39am - animals - by Patrick - United States (Louisiana)

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17720) - you deserved it (4044)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16680) - you deserved it (1362)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

#20111523
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12423) - you deserved it (1647)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20673) - you deserved it (3456)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

#20104660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19187) - you deserved it (1132)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm - animals - by banj0 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out why it might be awkward to have your plumber and your least well-behaved dog share a name. Bad plumber. FML

#20100991
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12123) - you deserved it (1496)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:20am - animals - by acme - Israel

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (4127)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19369) - you deserved it (2124)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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