Today, my friends thought it would be hilarious to show me Marley and Me the day right after I had to put down my dog. I had my dog for 11 years. FML

by awesome / 03/22/2011 at 8:18pm / Animals

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

by negin / 03/22/2011 at 3:23am / Animals

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

by mugged / 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my parents fought over who gets the dog when they divorce. Nothing has been said about where my brother and I will live when they split. FML

by unwanted / 03/19/2011 at 5:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

by SpideyFace / 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

by nosleeptilpissoff / 03/18/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

by karmavictim / 03/18/2011 at 7:28am / Animals

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

by MacGrouber / 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML

by BSwan / 03/14/2011 at 8:57pm / Australia / Animals

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm / United States / Animals

Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML

by spaz / 03/13/2011 at 9:49pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2011 at 9:19am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

by mike / 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals