Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

#4397951
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33169) - you deserved it (13562)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

#4380799
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45686) - you deserved it (2523)

On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - animals - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

#4321339
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13882) - you deserved it (56531)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:04pm - animals - by dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I left my brand new iPhone on the counter, and went to get its cleaning cloth. My grandmother saw a mosquito, and used my iPhone as a fly swatter. I now have a broken iPhone. Good news though: no more mosquito. FML

#4304295
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49263) - you deserved it (5216)

On 08/05/2009 at 7:04am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I was baby sitting my little cousin when we decided to go outside and have a "treasure hunt" in the backyard. The first thing we found? The bones of her pet dog that had passed away four years ago. FML

#4252043
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36611) - you deserved it (5028)

On 08/03/2009 at 9:26am - animals - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML

#4239314
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46278) - you deserved it (5882)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - animals - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

#4196773
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55779) - you deserved it (2994)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:32am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57214) - you deserved it (17205)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, while spray painting a rocking horse for my kids I left the can outside in the sun. When I picked it up it was hot to the touch and I dropped it. It exploded on impact and now I am more blue than the rocking horse. FML

#4083142
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37292) - you deserved it (19783)

On 07/27/2009 at 4:08pm - animals - by usafprog (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got my cat stuffed after her death. I brought her home and set her down by my couch. I guess my dog thought it was a new chew toy. FML

#4060488
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17359) - you deserved it (71330)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:18pm - animals - by Fmycatslife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while trying to get my attention, my dog got her nail stuck in a usb port in my laptop. She freaked out and ran off, dragging it off my lap and through the house before if came off. Her nail was only slightly chipped- my laptop now has a cracked screen. FML

#4031277
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38821) - you deserved it (8281)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:43pm - animals - by stpddog (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I am allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

#3981210
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16063) - you deserved it (39905)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:43pm - animals - by emmey (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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