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Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

#1775863
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32913) - you deserved it (21545)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:50am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

#1769804
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11748) - you deserved it (43676)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:08am - animals - by Christine (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

#1759854
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49243) - you deserved it (5183)

On 05/08/2009 at 9:07pm - animals - by jamblasticus (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looks at me, then turns to everyone and says "But not our Becky! She is more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

#1738552
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44145) - you deserved it (5599)

On 05/07/2009 at 11:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

#1712833
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28731) - you deserved it (130322)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

#1687586
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12293) - you deserved it (53671)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - animals - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was insulted online by a teenager who said that I was probably a fat loser that still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML

#1656055
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (52056)

On 05/05/2009 at 6:32am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

#1620980
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36935) - you deserved it (24599)

On 05/04/2009 at 8:37am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML

#1479703
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77182) - you deserved it (3767)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

#1454784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62782) - you deserved it (4554)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML

#1432736
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41585) - you deserved it (4406)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:05pm - animals - by My_Cow_kiM (man) - United States (New York)



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