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Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looks at me, then turns to everyone and says "But not our Becky! She is more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

#1738552
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44139) - you deserved it (5597)

On 05/07/2009 at 11:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

#1712833
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (130275)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

#1687586
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12292) - you deserved it (53668)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - animals - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was insulted online by a teenager who said that I was probably a fat loser that still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML

#1656055
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (52049)

On 05/05/2009 at 6:32am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

#1620980
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36933) - you deserved it (24597)

On 05/04/2009 at 8:37am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML

#1479703
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77166) - you deserved it (3767)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

#1454784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62772) - you deserved it (4554)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML

#1432736
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41579) - you deserved it (4406)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:05pm - animals - by My_Cow_kiM (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML

#1411450
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39669) - you deserved it (9017)

On 04/28/2009 at 12:35am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

#1409233
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13645) - you deserved it (46129)

On 04/27/2009 at 10:38pm - animals - by youwouldbeacat - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

#1400081
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6832) - you deserved it (65695)

On 04/27/2009 at 6:04pm - animals - by silentbutdeadly (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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