Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

by a man / 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

by Sid / 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML

by Danielle / 04/09/2011 at 7:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML

by blehhx / 04/09/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Animals

Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML

by tbright010 / 04/08/2011 at 6:48pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

by ihateseagulls / 04/07/2011 at 7:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 3:11am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

by mottephobe / 04/06/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

by QWERTY / 04/03/2011 at 7:20pm / Animals

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

by poopybed / 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

by -_- / 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm / Macedonia (Struga) / Animals