Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

#10855287
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28223) - you deserved it (4065)

On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

#10853555
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29476) - you deserved it (5170)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:01am - animals - by misTreated (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

#10813076
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8656) - you deserved it (39607)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by Teresa (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

#10693899
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29891) - you deserved it (6859)

On 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm - animals - by lashless (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

#10668547
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39056) - you deserved it (7992)

On 05/21/2010 at 1:26pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML

#10629678
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (4234)

On 05/19/2010 at 4:43pm - animals - by Rich - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

#10511557
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19316) - you deserved it (10115)

On 05/13/2010 at 6:49pm - animals - by Alicia - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

#9586084
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29604) - you deserved it (9422)

On 04/02/2010 at 8:31pm - animals - by BigBangrocksthenight (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

#9149422
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35250) - you deserved it (3848)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by LG (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33609) - you deserved it (4786)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28462) - you deserved it (2023)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)



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