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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML

#6484371
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29545) - you deserved it (1958)

On 11/27/2009 at 8:48pm - animals - by bill - United States

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

#6476198
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5406) - you deserved it (45171)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:13am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

#6471383
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34934) - you deserved it (4300)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

#6464723
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24071) - you deserved it (7675)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by smellsofeggs (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML

#6458973
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9434) - you deserved it (23852)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by MouseChaser (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

#6436100
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11790) - you deserved it (30456)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:45pm - animals - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11896) - you deserved it (48331)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found my son's dead goldfish. Apparently, when it died he didn't flush it. Instead he placed it in one of my socks, placed that sock in a jar, and set the jar in the back of my closet. The fish has been dead for over a month. FML

#6417968
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28646) - you deserved it (2385)

On 11/23/2009 at 2:31am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

#6408198
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (5365)

On 11/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by Annie (woman) - Mexico (Coahuila de Zaragoza)

Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML

#6401579
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7697) - you deserved it (32234)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - animals - by jaydiv (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

#6396436
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26195) - you deserved it (6080)

On 11/21/2009 at 10:25pm - animals - by gbabyy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

#6391764
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23832) - you deserved it (13787)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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