Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

#8241571
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20913) - you deserved it (3232)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:24am - animals - by lex31 - United States

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38735) - you deserved it (3415)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22323) - you deserved it (6508)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (5483)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an add for a Siamese cat. FML

#8078249
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4543) - you deserved it (51250)

On 02/10/2010 at 1:39am - animals - by AUDONEE (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24864) - you deserved it (5225)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25210) - you deserved it (12907)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

#7925125
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30636) - you deserved it (3046)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:27am - animals - by btg - United States (California)

Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML

#7913686
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22683) - you deserved it (8583)

On 02/05/2010 at 7:50pm - animals - by doggie_doo_face (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

#7835158
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29361) - you deserved it (2524)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:03am - animals - by Brittany (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

#7813334
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24681) - you deserved it (3849)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:32pm - animals - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

#7776158
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11823) - you deserved it (34123)

On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML

#7775610
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21541) - you deserved it (6414)

On 02/01/2010 at 8:45am - animals - by dontbadouche - Senegal



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: