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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20983) - you deserved it (6647)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

#6896062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7927) - you deserved it (30246)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

#6894688
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23744) - you deserved it (5207)

On 12/23/2009 at 12:05am - animals - by sleepy (man) - United States (California)

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

#6893264
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9145) - you deserved it (28557)

On 12/22/2009 at 10:52pm - animals - by iHateWorms (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML

#6831134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (1988)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44pm - animals - by googly191 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint-birthday party with her dog because it would be the dog's "big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

#6822450
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22941) - you deserved it (2234)

On 12/19/2009 at 1:20am - animals - by dog_day (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#6795519
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30636) - you deserved it (2555)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:43pm - animals - by ollierocks96 - United States (Florida)

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12464) - you deserved it (23824)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (5029)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

#6789867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8467) - you deserved it (38578)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

#6787921
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (4237)

On 12/17/2009 at 1:09am - animals - by life_suxxx - United States (Mississippi)

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

#6779771
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10511) - you deserved it (29472)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by smellyhand (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, it hit me that my dad didn't cry when I moved out, he did so only when I came back later to pick up my cat. FML

#6761317
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24136) - you deserved it (2789)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by number2 (woman) - United States (California)



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