Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

#13034308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (2636)

On 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for the chicken I bought four days ago. I finally found it - not in the refrigerator, not in the freezer, but in the trunk of my car, which now smells like a dead animal. FML

#12968691
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6975) - you deserved it (26429)

On 09/08/2010 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

#12964017
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60904) - you deserved it (3183)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML

#12804085
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (5701)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:45am - animals - by unluckiestperson - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML

#12802001
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (2203)

On 08/29/2010 at 7:29am - animals - by katta2009 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12709) - you deserved it (26366)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

#12781273
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15569) - you deserved it (38704)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking with the dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling another friend came by, and we went talking for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone in the water instead of his stick. FML

#12753740
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14879) - you deserved it (38572)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:27am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

#12750103
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13910) - you deserved it (49877)

On 08/26/2010 at 1:33am - animals - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

#12726945
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35703) - you deserved it (4690)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm - animals - by vstan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

#12649118
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38619) - you deserved it (3049)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:03pm - animals - by therealducktape - Sent from mobile version

Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML

#12539128
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29330) - you deserved it (3892)

On 08/15/2010 at 1:24pm - animals - by tammy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

#12530276
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46392) - you deserved it (4765)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:12am - animals - by goodbye-college (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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