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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

#261898
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35006) - you deserved it (24068)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML

#260115
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51618) - you deserved it (14627)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:53am - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

#217564
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35293) - you deserved it (11783)

On 03/05/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by ohnolunch - United States (California)

Today, I received a card in the mail. It was from my vet's office. Written inside was "We send our sympathy during this trying time." I haven't been home in three days. I can't find my dog and my mother won't talk about it. My dog was 7. She hated that dog. FML

#216168
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56225) - you deserved it (1595)

On 03/05/2009 at 11:06am - animals - by nochance (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML

#185319
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10182) - you deserved it (43890)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm - animals - by pacificbeach - United States (California)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

#171623
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43998) - you deserved it (7121)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:36pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother decided she wanted the family to go on a special outing for the holidays. She asked me to drive everyone when she got home from work. Later I noticed the house was empty. The whole family, including the dog, left without telling me. They took my car. FML

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

#128340
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81911) - you deserved it (5309)

On 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm - animals - by sammatthews2007 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

#115148
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9140) - you deserved it (29104)

On 02/23/2009 at 4:58pm - animals - by frenchpop1960 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13884) - you deserved it (46856)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML

#94421
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5939) - you deserved it (36087)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:44am - animals - by Chubsley (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that there are more framed pictures of my mom's dog than pictures of me around the house. FML

#89971
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31602) - you deserved it (2338)

On 02/20/2009 at 5:02pm - animals - by d0pey (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42368) - you deserved it (8648)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)



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