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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got back home and my hamster was dead. I left notes two weeks ago everywhere to remind my parents to feed it while I was overseas. Apparently, my parents even didn't realize I was gone. FML

#8681991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27476) - you deserved it (2312)

On 02/27/2010 at 2:37am - animals - by lovingsnow (woman) - Singapore

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

#8663349
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5894) - you deserved it (24503)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:43pm - animals - by Shinobi_3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (7677)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

#8532673
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (26348)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:14pm - animals - by Rafiki (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, my dog barked for 30 minutes with me yelling for him to shut up. Guess that's how long it takes someone to steal the rims from my truck. Good dog. FML

#8471153
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6773) - you deserved it (36733)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:36am - animals - by rimjob - United States

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

#8435501
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31872) - you deserved it (3080)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

#8434692
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31089) - you deserved it (2180)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I noticed my house smells a lot like my grandma's. Not because we use the same cleaning products or anything like that, but because I'm slowly turning into a crazy cat lady. FML

#8420953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7360) - you deserved it (20662)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:20pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a black cat crossed in front of my truck and I thought to myself that it was funny people believe black cats bring bad luck. Not even two minutes later, I drove my truck into a ditch. FML

#8338090
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18978) - you deserved it (9245)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:56pm - animals - by matiasbarbero - United States

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23318) - you deserved it (2638)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

#8241571
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20854) - you deserved it (3228)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:24am - animals - by lex31 - United States

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (3367)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States



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