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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

#13203283
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12962) - you deserved it (33610)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22010) - you deserved it (4264)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7617) - you deserved it (72302)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

#13129116
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (2726)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:26pm - animals - by thanksbro - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

#13108998
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19861) - you deserved it (12779)

On 09/19/2010 at 2:21am - animals - by jillydark6609 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

#13034308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23919) - you deserved it (2444)

On 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for the chicken I bought four days ago. I finally found it - not in the refrigerator, not in the freezer, but in the trunk of my car, which now smells like a dead animal. FML

#12968691
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6967) - you deserved it (26395)

On 09/08/2010 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

#12964017
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60843) - you deserved it (3181)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML

#12804085
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (5701)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:45am - animals - by unluckiestperson - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML

#12802001
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31522) - you deserved it (2202)

On 08/29/2010 at 7:29am - animals - by katta2009 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12693) - you deserved it (26344)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

#12781273
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15457) - you deserved it (38439)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)



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