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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

#10668547
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36706) - you deserved it (7679)

On 05/21/2010 at 1:26pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML

#10629678
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26039) - you deserved it (4096)

On 05/19/2010 at 4:43pm - animals - by Rich - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

#10511557
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19135) - you deserved it (10065)

On 05/13/2010 at 6:49pm - animals - by Alicia - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

#9586084
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (9391)

On 04/02/2010 at 8:31pm - animals - by BigBangrocksthenight (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

#9149422
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33038) - you deserved it (3668)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by LG (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32690) - you deserved it (4679)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28244) - you deserved it (2012)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

#9077477
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17686) - you deserved it (7385)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

#9047484
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22465) - you deserved it (2637)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:01pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML

#9037311
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (2823)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

#9018544
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18207) - you deserved it (3297)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:01am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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