Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

#16231154
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14859) - you deserved it (48307)

On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

#16157379
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (5333)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:23pm - animals - by crazycat - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

#16157104
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26677) - you deserved it (8059)

On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

#16138835
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you deserved it (24652)

On 05/12/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48747) - you deserved it (16614)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML

#16126414
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38050) - you deserved it (6447)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

#16117188
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36949) - you deserved it (7359)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (3314)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15 minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML

#16019409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25938) - you deserved it (12357)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:02pm - animals - by Asirual - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16113) - you deserved it (47497)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46576) - you deserved it (4945)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

#15947256
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30344) - you deserved it (17790)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

#15931410
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36875) - you deserved it (8190)

On 04/26/2011 at 5:45am - animals - by weirdome23 (woman) - United States



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