Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

#13736205
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27233) - you deserved it (4972)

On 11/06/2010 at 7:45am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (3231)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

#13657606
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24312) - you deserved it (6383)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:25am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

#13624785
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27652) - you deserved it (4112)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:07am - animals - by scratchpost (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our house. McKinley, Mom, himself, Charlie, then me. McKinley is my two year old daughter and Charlie is the dog. He was dead serious. FML

#13623342
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21126) - you deserved it (5039)

On 10/28/2010 at 2:39am - animals - by katie06 - United States

Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML

#13615353
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22065) - you deserved it (2503)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:46pm - animals - by Florida - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40574) - you deserved it (3878)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, it is my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

#13589791
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32538) - you deserved it (2800)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm - animals - by sambo99 - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22365) - you deserved it (2951)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML

#13558401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:22am - animals - by poorhamster - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

#13482616
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9975) - you deserved it (20427)

On 10/17/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by baddoggy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21989) - you deserved it (3118)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (27267)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: