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Today, I met my boyfriends mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp comes up from my throat. And not only that. A small chunk of mucus flies out and lands on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

#7063669
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (4686)

On 12/31/2009 at 7:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

#7053849
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17712) - you deserved it (4152)

On 12/31/2009 at 8:28am - animals - by brokenrainbow. (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML

#7053396
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (24289)

On 12/31/2009 at 6:47am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML

Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML

#7010356
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22963) - you deserved it (1922)

On 12/29/2009 at 5:57am - animals - by PoachedFish (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

#7002403
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/28/2009 at 10:43pm - animals - by DOGSNACHER (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

#6987202
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18366) - you deserved it (2764)

On 12/28/2009 at 2:30am - animals - by dumbdad (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my dad is more comfortable talking to the dog than sitting in the same room as me. FML

#6981473
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17140) - you deserved it (2087)

On 12/27/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11251) - you deserved it (24084)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent christmas eve googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

#6914184
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27964) - you deserved it (2715)

On 12/24/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Beeh (woman) - United States

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16759) - you deserved it (5173)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

#6896062
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6556) - you deserved it (26920)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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