Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

#12530276
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44901) - you deserved it (4602)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:12am - animals - by goodbye-college (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

#12501881
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20245) - you deserved it (11869)

On 08/13/2010 at 3:45pm - animals - by Spelit (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

#12396014
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32304) - you deserved it (3347)

On 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm - animals - by L.Lime05 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

#12390101
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28660) - you deserved it (3947)

On 08/08/2010 at 12:22pm - animals - by Lifes_a_bust (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41218) - you deserved it (7298)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Carribean. They can't afford to take a ninth person. FML

#12096842
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35991) - you deserved it (2476)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:45am - animals - by greaaaatt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

#12087035
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32504) - you deserved it (3267)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm - animals - by Whateversz (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

Today, I found my lost iPhone earbuds. In the cat litter box. I am 100% sure that they passed through my cat to get there. FML

#12002480
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29620) - you deserved it (4253)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:34pm - animals - by brentkd - United States

Today, I was driving with my girlfriend. As we turned onto our block, she shrieked that our dog was running down the street and into traffic. I jumped out of the moving car and chased him for about a mile, only to give up, go home, and find out it wasn't our dog. FML

#11935360
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27427) - you deserved it (5119)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:00am - animals - by VtecKickIn (man) - United States

Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML

#11832599
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32115) - you deserved it (4623)

On 07/12/2010 at 4:56pm - animals - by maggotsinmycarpet - United States

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

#11822589
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (7814)

On 07/12/2010 at 1:38am - animals - by LexiBoBexi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML

#11624830
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9675) - you deserved it (31691)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by peanuts (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: