Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

by A / 02/09/2012 at 1:37am / United States / Animals

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

by BoringFucker / 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Animals

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

by rattrap / 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

by oh.geez / 02/05/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Animals

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

by deadhamster / 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm / United States / Animals

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Animals

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

by tannarox / 01/28/2012 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

by Cathy / 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm / United States / Animals

Today, I put on a pair of sneakers that I'd left outside, and went jogging. After several minutes of pain, I pulled off one of the sneakers, only to find dozens of baby spiders had moved in. FML

by moorox45 / 01/16/2012 at 12:10pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

by Jeslyn03 / 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

by GrossedOut / 01/11/2012 at 2:47am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, my manager came into the dog grooming salon I work at, lecturing about the importance of staying out of a dog's "bite zone". Right then, the dog I was working on bit me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 7:50am / United States / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my 25-year-old boyfriend why we cannot get pet raccoons. This is not the first time we have had this conversation. FML

by britanyann / 01/05/2012 at 10:45pm / United States / Animals