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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

#13624785
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27615) - you deserved it (4108)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:07am - animals - by scratchpost (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our house. McKinley, Mom, himself, Charlie, then me. McKinley is my two year old daughter and Charlie is the dog. He was dead serious. FML

#13623342
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (5035)

On 10/28/2010 at 2:39am - animals - by katie06 - United States

Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML

#13615353
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22041) - you deserved it (2501)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:46pm - animals - by Florida - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40527) - you deserved it (3876)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, it is my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

#13589791
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32512) - you deserved it (2796)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm - animals - by sambo99 - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22333) - you deserved it (2952)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML

#13558401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25674) - you deserved it (3402)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:22am - animals - by poorhamster - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

#13482616
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9858) - you deserved it (20190)

On 10/17/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by baddoggy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21949) - you deserved it (3115)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5608) - you deserved it (27229)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

#13386439
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24380) - you deserved it (11788)

On 10/10/2010 at 12:29am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

#13365582
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35627) - you deserved it (5385)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

#13363790
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (7856)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)



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