Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained puppies with him. As we were eating dinner, I dropped part of my sandwich in a liquid that was on the tablecloth. Thinking it was water, I ate it. As I chewed, I realized the liquid wasn't water. My sandwich was dipped in dog urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31759) - you deserved it (12806)
On 06/22/2009 at 12:04am - animals - by ihatedogs (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32026) - you deserved it (4360)
On 06/21/2009 at 5:41pm - animals - by FML (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35790) - you deserved it (1967)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:53pm - animals - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a horrible day at work, came home early and burst into tears as soon as I was in the door. I curled up on the sofa, still bawling, and my cat came over and jumped up for a cuddle. I gave her a hug and she threw up down my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38967) - you deserved it (3099)
On 06/15/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39208) - you deserved it (357)
On 06/15/2009 at 6:07am - animals - by Tom (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I failed a basic intelligence test when the mouse trap I was setting up snapped on my thumb. Later, when I checked the trap I saw that the mouse had managed to lick all the bait off the trap without being caught, I have a sore thumb and was outsmarted by a rodent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28293) - you deserved it (9621)
On 06/10/2009 at 4:13am - animals - by Trapped (woman) - Australia
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9226) - you deserved it (42172)
On 06/10/2009 at 12:36am - animals - by FMLTIMESTWO (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34064) - you deserved it (7285)
On 06/09/2009 at 1:09pm - animals - by chris (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38779) - you deserved it (8793)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39403) - you deserved it (5758)
On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - animals - by Jay (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61516) - you deserved it (3607)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving behind a UPS truck. All of a sudden his back door opens up exposing some boxes ready to fall out. Like a good driver I speed up to drive beside him to tell him. He thought I was trying to cut him off so he accelerated. A box flies out and dents my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (3728)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:10am - animals - by Anon (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65860) - you deserved it (162942)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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