Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML

#13306628
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9628) - you deserved it (22825)

On 10/03/2010 at 6:24pm - animals - by baconman86 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

#13300598
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21558) - you deserved it (2986)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by andrea99 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go to the bathroom. He said "Okay baby, go drop your load." He also used the same voice as when he talks to his cat. FML

#13257198
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (3938)

On 09/29/2010 at 11:17pm - animals - by peepee. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

#13220648
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31362) - you deserved it (9426)

On 09/27/2010 at 9:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

#13203283
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12859) - you deserved it (33423)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (4114)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7563) - you deserved it (71998)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

#13129116
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24387) - you deserved it (2582)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:26pm - animals - by thanksbro - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

#13108998
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19710) - you deserved it (12721)

On 09/19/2010 at 2:21am - animals - by jillydark6609 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

#13034308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23761) - you deserved it (2433)

On 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for the chicken I bought four days ago. I finally found it - not in the refrigerator, not in the freezer, but in the trunk of my car, which now smells like a dead animal. FML

#12968691
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6918) - you deserved it (26269)

On 09/08/2010 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

#12964017
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58906) - you deserved it (3049)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: