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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

#16728173
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24564) - you deserved it (8453)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm - animals - by Barney - United States (Indiana)

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, she said she was too busy to talk to me. My sister asked who was on the phone, she replied "the dog sitter." FML

#16690008
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34756) - you deserved it (3889)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:25am - animals - by crapped on - United States

Today, after a full shift at work, I got home to my boyfriend playing CoD, a full sink, crap all over the table, a full cat box, dirty bathroom, no laundry done and the kids at my parents' house. He yelled at me because the place was a mess. FML

#16645871
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42860) - you deserved it (9257)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:04pm - animals - by rileynautumn - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML

#16632330
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40975) - you deserved it (2937)

On 06/12/2011 at 7:33pm - animals - by Jenievonteese (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

#16614936
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29219) - you deserved it (6729)

On 06/11/2011 at 6:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

#16597604
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26209) - you deserved it (3917)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:39pm - animals - by crazydog (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

#16580988
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13943) - you deserved it (47619)

On 06/09/2011 at 4:32pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

#16574286
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (5430)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:20am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a 'fever'. I came home to a dead cat. FML

#16495613
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57208) - you deserved it (3895)

On 06/04/2011 at 7:22am - animals - by Clumsyblonde22 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

#16467206
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33366) - you deserved it (4288)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm - animals - by brittaneejanex - United States

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

#16447532
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26137) - you deserved it (11456)

On 06/01/2011 at 3:39am - animals - by Lifeless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML

#16424088
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (3750)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:33pm - animals - by thiswouldonlyhappentome (woman) - Aruba

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

#16403007
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37731) - you deserved it (10614)

On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States



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