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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

#16447532
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (11450)

On 06/01/2011 at 3:39am - animals - by Lifeless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML

#16424088
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35462) - you deserved it (3747)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:33pm - animals - by thiswouldonlyhappentome (woman) - Aruba

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

#16403007
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37714) - you deserved it (10606)

On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States

Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML

#16369403
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34848) - you deserved it (5354)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:45am - animals - by FeedMe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

#16359645
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35797) - you deserved it (7041)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, is the anniversary of my cat's death, so I went to visit her grave in the pet cemetery. Someone had spray-painted "Your cat sucks" on her grave. FML

#16350161
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47888) - you deserved it (10620)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:48pm - animals - by nrelavender - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

#16231154
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14423) - you deserved it (47601)

On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

#16157379
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29079) - you deserved it (5328)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:23pm - animals - by crazycat - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

#16157104
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26631) - you deserved it (8057)

On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

#16138835
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11805) - you deserved it (24628)

On 05/12/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47854) - you deserved it (16363)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML

#16126414
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37585) - you deserved it (6390)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

#16117188
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35827) - you deserved it (7212)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore



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