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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

#17177469
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30364) - you deserved it (8848)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:45pm - animals - by craphanded - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, it's my birthday. I came downstairs to a cake that said "Happy 8th Birthday Bella!" My name is Sarah and I'm 16. Bella is our dog whose birthday is next month. FML

#17163751
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37174) - you deserved it (2747)

On 07/18/2011 at 2:05pm - animals - by unbirthday (woman) - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML

#17151333
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (8436)

On 07/17/2011 at 4:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his fifteen year old daughter, the dog. FML

#17122857
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (4322)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by kacysospacyy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58285) - you deserved it (9724)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (14847)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34070) - you deserved it (3084)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML

#17055167
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31381) - you deserved it (3459)

On 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm - animals - by worstfatherever - United States

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

#17039633
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31593) - you deserved it (3270)

On 07/09/2011 at 10:34am - animals - by iGreen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

#17017863
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12694) - you deserved it (27733)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

#16970335
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39812) - you deserved it (2769)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:11am - animals - by oopsies - United States

Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML

#16967772
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31048) - you deserved it (2447)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:13am - animals - by emegemerald - United States

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36848) - you deserved it (3761)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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