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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40460) - you deserved it (3876)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, it is my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

#13589791
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32445) - you deserved it (2794)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm - animals - by sambo99 - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML

#13558401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25621) - you deserved it (3400)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:22am - animals - by poorhamster - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

#13482616
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9484) - you deserved it (19545)

On 10/17/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by baddoggy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (3043)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5596) - you deserved it (27185)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

#13386439
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24325) - you deserved it (11758)

On 10/10/2010 at 12:29am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

#13365582
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34728) - you deserved it (5280)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

#13363790
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22811) - you deserved it (7851)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

#13350448
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32668) - you deserved it (2594)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:21am - animals - by lindsey789 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25902) - you deserved it (4470)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I'm on holiday in Vietnam, and was wearing a new shirt. In a restaurant, the waitress pointed at my shirt and said something I couldn't understand, so I just smiled and nodded my head. She then gave me a weird look and walked away. Turns out there was a huge spider on it. FML

#13339977
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23134) - you deserved it (4241)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:40am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Vietnam



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