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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML

#13972992
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33560) - you deserved it (3842)

On 11/25/2010 at 9:48am - animals - by Seline -

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

#13930948
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34034) - you deserved it (4629)

On 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by dickwebs - Germany

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

#13930186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20393) - you deserved it (3683)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML

#13919837
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8670) - you deserved it (33010)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:39am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML

#13909761
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41236) - you deserved it (4048)

On 11/20/2010 at 9:00am - animals - by serveandprotectyeahright - United States (New York)

Today, my wife of seven years told me that she doesn't trust me with dog-sitting her dog while she leaves to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's with her family. She ended up calling someone she "trusts" to take care of her dog while I spend the holidays by myself. FML

#13884147
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25996) - you deserved it (3967)

On 11/18/2010 at 1:44am - animals - by nottrustworthy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML

#13854303
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11474) - you deserved it (30580)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55428) - you deserved it (2702)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

#13837705
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28220) - you deserved it (4585)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML

#13801774
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27522) - you deserved it (3041)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:02pm - animals - by jordanss - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31202) - you deserved it (5290)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

#13760701
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6725) - you deserved it (27652)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:07am - animals - by yay! - United States (Arizona)



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